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Our Blue and Gold Forever

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | May 8, 2010 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | May 8, 2010 |

Next weekend, Tater Tot will receive her master’s from the University of Hartford (Hello, Spigot! Hello, Wings Over Hartford! Hello, City Steam Brewery! And anyone here in a position to hire a symphony violinist, call me!), and at some point toward the end of the proceedings, someone in a funny-looking robe and hat will ask the graduates to stand and sing the worst song ever written.

Oh, I don’t mean U of H’s alma mater SPECIFICALLY is the worst song ever written. I mean that ALL alma maters are the worst song ever written.

Take that bit of drivel in the headline up there. That’s the beginning of my high school alma mater, and I haven’t sung it or thought much about it in 35 years but damn if I can’t recall the tune and most of the words:

Our blue and gold forever
As we stand together
We sing your praises loudly
Our alma mater dear
To you we will be loyal
Something blah.

I have mercifully blanked on the last few lines, and after reading the first few I think you can understand why. That’s just awful, isn’t it? Just start with the opening couplet, which doesn’t even rhyme, really, and go from there. That’s some dreadful songwriting.

But I am comforted by the reasonable assurance that your high school alma mater wasn’t much better, if not worse.

BTW, there was an amusing moment during my college graduation from the little commuter school I went to in downtown Pittsburgh, when we were all asked to stand and sing the alma mater. We all looked at each other. We didn’t know we had one. So instead of singing we mostly laughed.

Anyway, on to the diversion: Can you still sing your high school and/or college alma mater? Just how bad are the lyrics? I’m sure they’d make for some painfully amusing reading if you’d be so kind as to post them below.

P.S. Anyone who has a good diversion idea for 5/15, let me know, so my mind can be completely free next week to concentrate on the impossibility of ever repaying the $60,000 student-loan debt Tater Tot accumulated the past two years. Thanks!

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.