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Governor's Penis Busy?

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | November 7, 2009 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | November 7, 2009 |

When I was back there in journalism school, there was a professor there who put forth the proposition that you can really look like a jackass if you aren’t careful with headlines.

Fortunately for our senses of humor, many of my colleagues skipped that class, confounded and confused as they were by classrooms that didn’t seem to be numbered consecutively. Because a lot of very funny things can happen when you add or subtract a letter, or change a letter, or run two words together.

Take the example that serves as the headline here. The story Mr. Professor Man told was that the governor of some state had had quite a time putting his signature on the pile of bills his legislature had sent him. His “pen” had been “busy.” Frankly, “Governor’s pen is busy” would have been one of the most boring headlines ever written for which I am not personally responsible. Think goodness some inattentive writer and copy editior saw fit to liven it up, just a bit.

Here’s another one, perhaps apocryphal but so what:

Man kills self with shitgun

You’d read that story, wouldn’t you?

Just like you’d run to see a movie called “Lust in Translation,” rather than deeming it one of the most boring movies ever, as many of us did a few weeks ago. Right? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t. Every Pajibster and more than a few Pajiblettes would be thinking, “Yeah, I don’t REALLY need to see Bill Murray nekkid, but ScarJo boobies YUM!”

I’m thinking a lot of movie titles (and TV show titles, and album titles, and book titles) could be greatly improved like that with a one-letter addition, omission or swap, or by running two words together. So prove me right here, as usual: Do some adding, omitting, swapping and contracting, and while you’re at it throw in a synopsis, if it’s not too much trouble.

TATER BARLEY BANKS is not to be trusted. He probably makes up everything he writes about himself, especially the stuff about living in West Virginia. Don’t be fooled. In truth, he lives in Pajibaland, where he speaks gibberish as , (TCFKAB), spends his time sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent, and is developing a 25-letter alphabet, now that his key doesn’t work. He has no blog, no FaceBook page and no MySpace page, so don’t try to find him.

The Fourth Kind Review | Pajiba After Dark 11/8/09

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.