We’ve had some heated debates in the Pajiba Slack before, like cake vs pie, what’s the best sandwich, what even is a sandwich, and who’s the worst. But what about the opinions we know are probably bad? What about the conversational grenades that might cause the average Pajiban a sharp intake of breath? These are the think pieces that will probably never happen. Because even though we stand by these takes, we might not always own up to them publicly. These are the hills we will die on, alone. These are the opinions we whisper, but we won’t take back…
Some of these caused a bit of a ruckus between the Overlords, especially in the music category… There may have been a few firings along the way. As a result, I’ve left the names off the specific takes below, so feel free to speculate who is responsible for them in the comments!
The Dark Knight is… fine. Batman Begins was better.
Affleck is the best Batman but has shit material to work with. He’s smug, always right, and moves easily between Bruce Wayne and the Goddamn Batman without making it too over the top.
Superman Returns is a fun movie that I enjoy watching.
Snyder’s Watchmen is often brilliant, if not consistently so.
Infinity War is a fun movie, but it is a terrible superhero movie. They are superheroes and superheroes are supposed to be able to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, and there are 5 or 6 instances during the course of that movie in which one person could have made a decision to save half the entire world and decided, instead, to save themselves or someone close to them. None of the Avengers were willing to make a single personal sacrifice on behalf of half the planet.
Ethan Hunt is not a great fit for his job.
All mafia movies are bad, except the terrible romcom one with Hugh Grant, which is the fun kind of bad.
The Sopranos is terrible.
Grey’s Anatomy was always soapy trash. People like to act like the first few seasons were really great but they weren’t. They were just a little more fresh, but everyone uses the same syntax and the soap opera plots and ridiculously convenient injuries/illnesses are there from day one. Everyone is a narcissistic butthole from the start. It’s entertaining as hell, and wonderfully diverse, but it was never great TV. I am deeply concerned with women who still think Derek is “McDreamy”. He’s always been a selfish brat who thinks his big gestures outweigh the day to day work.
Paul was better than John.
Willie Nelson is better than Johnny Cash, but Cash was better than Elvis.
Led Zeppelin has three good songs. That’s it.
Radiohead has some good songs, mixed in with some interesting songs, all buried under a pile of unlistenable pretension.
Good Omens was fair at best.
Hemingway is garbage.
Food (Of course, we couldn’t pass on an opportunity to have a food fight! We have a lot of very strong opinions on seafood…)
Lobster and shrimp are just gross sea bugs.
Butter is what makes lobster great.
Blue Crab is better than lobster.
Lobster is better than crab.
Oysters are better than lobster.
Oysters are just big slimy sea bogies.
Uncooked meat or fish is unacceptable. Let the meat see the heat, please. Sushi, smoked salmon, ceviche, tartare - get the hell out.
So, ‘fess up in the comments: What are you adamant is underrated or overrated, when you know hardly anyone will agree with you? How wrong are we? Who do you think is responsible for the Absolute Worst Take?
Image sources (in order of posting): NBC, Giphy