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Friends, Romans, Countrymen: Lend Me a Joke

By Prolixity Julien | Comment Diversions | October 1, 2011 |

By Prolixity Julien | Comment Diversions | October 1, 2011 |

Have you at any time written the following words on a Pajiba thread ” I hate to be that guy, but…” as you unfurl your clarifications and corrections? We are a captious bunch. At least, the commenters are, and I suspect the lurkers are silently cheering when the Accuracy Police show up and start arresting people; otherwise, why would they keep coming back (assuming they do come back, it’s so hard to tell)? But what if we just tried to entertain each other? What if there was a thread where it was theoretically impossible to be wrong and no one would correct you? Today’s Comment Diversion comes to you in that spirit and, as a gesture of friendship, I would like to open the proceedings by laying my stupidity out before you for all to see. I did not get this joke

How do you get down off an elephant?


You don’t, you get down off a duck.

until I was about 20. TWENTY! And the worst part is that if I tried to tell you that joke in person, I would fail. I can’t tell jokes. Can you tell jokes? Oh, I can crack wise and I am shameless with a pun, but I can’t tell funny. Maybe in writing it will be different:

Two nuns are driving through Transylvania. It is late and dark as pitch. Suddenly, a vampire jumps on the windshield. One nun turns to the other and exclaims, “Show him your cross! Show him your cross!” So the other nun leans out the window and yells, “GET THE FUCK OFF THE WINDSHIELD!”.

No? How’s this —

A termite hops into a bar. Hops up onto a stool and up onto to counter. Looking around he asks, “Excuse me, where is the bartender?”

Still no? Well, this diversion is very straightforward: Tell us a joke. Remember your manners. Don’t work blue.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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