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Composing a Sentence that's Never Been Written Before

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | September 19, 2009 |

By Tater Barley Banks | Comment Diversions | September 19, 2009 |

Here’s a sentence that’s never ever been written before in the history of human interpersonal communications:

“I love my cable/Internet provider.”

Motherfuckerers. Especially the cable TV people. I don’t know how it works where you are, but where I am, jurisdictions make franchise agreements with the likes of Comcast for 10 or 15 years at a time. This, essentially, grants them monopoly powers and, what do you know, they act just like monopolies, whacking channels and devising complicated and expensive tier arrangements and jacking up the rates seemingly on a whim, all the time calling it a “service enhancement.”

Enhance this, you fucks …

Oh, sorry, this was supposed to be YOUR diversion.

So, OK: Give us a sentence that’s never been written before. This especially plays into the hands of those of you already so drunk, stoned or generally incoherent you’d have trouble putting three words together. Chances are you’re so messed up you’ll create a unique sentence more or less by accident.

(I can’t wait to see Skitz’s contributions. I expect at least seven of the 10 EEs to come out of this thread.)

Or, if that all seems like too much hoity-toity intellectual bother for a Saturday/Sunday, just use this occasion to rant about your cable/Internet provider.


Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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