72 Days, $18 Million: Who Would You Marry For That Pay Day?
We’ll give reality star Kim Kardashian the benefit of the doubt and assume her brief marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries was legitimate and not simply a publicity stunt. But what if it were? Much of the goodies for their lavish wedding were donated, and the combined endorsements, TV and magazine deals reportedly brought Kardashian $18 million, a sum she and her family adamantly deny. That’s quite a pay day for a marriage that lasted 1,728 hours, give or take. More than $10,000 an hour, actually.
So: If you had the chance to take part in a sham wedding with a celebrity, putting up with them for a few months’ engagement (Humphries popped the question May 18, and he and Kardashian married Aug. 20) before a brief — let’s say 72 days — marriage, would you do it? Think about it: $18 million. Times are tough; Wall Street is still frakking occupied, for Pete’s sake. Would you swap integrity for financial freedom?
Marrying an A-list celebrity isn’t an option, obviously. B-listers would be out of your league as well. Let’s head to the D-list. Interestingly, as I pondered how low I would go when it comes to gross celebs, several unbearable comedians came to mind. I could marry Dane Cook, but only if I could get him to be silent. Being hitched to Jeff Dunham could be perversely worth the trauma if I were able to set his puppets on fire while he watched — and cried. But, I admit, I can only stoop so low.
I’ve got to draw the line somewhere:
Nope, can’t do it. Won’t. No.
How about you, Pajibians? Some of you are above this, surely. But others … I bet you could go lower than Carrot Top. So, who would you marry for $18 million?
Sarah Carlson has a front-row seat to the decline of the newspaper industry and lives in Alabama. And even though she loves redheads, she’s not a fan of carrots.