So, I have a problem. I am having trouble having an opinion on Miley Cyrus. Understandably, this is unacceptable. After her video for “Wrecking Ball” broke records yesterday, opinions were like assholes and everyone had an opinion on Miley’s asshole. Except me. I’m broken. I feel impotent and out of control, which I really hate.
A lot of people are calling her “gross.” Like, using the word gross. Which I think is pretty gross. I don’t think I like that. A lot of people think she’s desperate. That might be true. Some people are saying she’s sick and damaged. And, well, probably, she was a child star after all, but I don’t know that it is diagnosable purely from her VMA performance and video.
The closest thing to an opinion I can muster is that I do think that if the exact same “Wrecking Ball” video featured Rihanna or Pink, people would be having different reactions.
That’s it. That’s not even an opinion. I feel like that episode of Coupling where Steve’s only opinion on fabrics is that he’s “undecided about spots.” I have lots of opinions. On, like, lots of things. Things I don’t need to have opinions on. BUT I DON’T HAVE AN OPINION ON THIS. And it is clearly the biggest thing to ever happen to the world ever based purely upon public response.
So, since I don’t have one, I want yours. What do you think? Is something wrong with her? Is it not a big deal? Is she “gross?” Is she hot and awesome? Is she desperate? Is this pure management conjecture? Why do people keep bringing up Liam Hemsworth like he’s supposed to be somehow shocked by all this when he’s been with her for years would seemingly be the least shocked by all this? What do Billy Ray’s highlights think of all this? WHAT IS HAPPENING? FIX ME.
Here’s the video if you missed it. Which you didn’t. At the moment I write this, the video has more than 42 million views in under 48 hours. That’s a lot.