If you want to know about love this fine Sunday, I have bad news for you. Why? Because Love is DEAD. D-E-A-D I tell you. How do I know this? Is it because I, a 35-year-old woman who owns every Fear Street ever written that I keep track of in a comprehensive Google Sheet where I’ve cataloged each book’s condition is still inexplicably single? Well, no—that’s the status quo. No, I know this because in news no one could predict, Pamela Anderson is calling it quits with her husband Jon Peters after 12 days of wedded bliss.
We all rejoiced when Dustin covered their surprise wedding less than 2 weeks ago, and now it’s over, gone the way of Britney Spears and Jason Alexander, or Kim Kardashian and that dude she married for 8 minutes.
Say it ain’t so. Here, I’ll give you a minute.
Yes, friends, the time has come to accept that if those two crazy kids can’t make it work that maybe none of us can.
The Hollywood Reporter has the scoop:
“I have been moved by the warm reception to Jon and my union,” Anderson said in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter. “We would be very grateful for your support as we take some time apart to re-evaluate what we want from life and from one another. Life is a journey and love is a process. With that universal truth in mind, we have mutually decided to put off the formalization of our marriage certificate and put our faith in the process. Thank you for respecting our privacy.”
Look, she’s letting us down easy, but it’s over. You know it, I know it—everyone knows it.
I’m not here to tell you how to run your life but if you want some friendly advice, when you call in to work tomorrow to take a personal day to process this shocking news no one could have seen coming, I suggest you tell your boss the truth. That you found out love died today, and you need a day to figure out how to keep keepin’ on.
Hang in there, pals.
Header Image Source: Getty