Who’s a Better Friend to Jennifer Aniston? Ellen DeGeneres or Reese Witherspoon?

Look, it’s perfectly natural as a grown woman to want to know where you rank in the pecking order with your other female friends. Especially when you count Jennifer Aniston in those ranks. So, it should be no surprise to anyone that Reese Witherspoon and Ellen DeGeneres went at it to jockey for a better position with Jen on Ellen’s show. I mean, what is daytime TV for if not to publicly jostle for position with powerful friends, find out paternity for your children, and/or tell your grandma that she dresses “too sexy!!”?!

Exactly.

So, Reese was on Ellen’s show to promote something, I’d imagine Big Little Lies season 2, and the subject of Jen’s friendship came up. Now, People.com seems to think it was done in a joking manner, but come on. We all know a power play when we see it.

Anyway, Ellen flat out told Reese that she was a better friend to Jen than her, and the segment ended…but not for Ellen. See, Ellen decided to out to Jen once and for all to settle this matter, publicly, after Reese had left the stage so she did…and Jen sent her to voicemail.

via GIPHY

A masterful power move on Jen’s part.

Anyway, after some texting back and forth (turns out Jen was on the treadmill) she finally got Jen on the phone, and the beautiful part of all of this is that you can tell Jen is annoyed, bewildered and confused why Ellen is calling her in front of a studio audience, especially because she’s clearly on the treadmill and thus busy. At one point, Jen even points out that she’s only doing this because they’re friends. A phrase I am well acquainted with from my own friends when I ask them to tell me about any haunted hotels they stayed in recently.

So, Jen ultimately confirms, with irritation in her voice, that she is a better friend with Ellen than Reese, and mean girls everywhere took note. This is how you run your friend group, tightly and with insecurity among your ranks so that you’re always top banana.

Well played, Jennifer Aniston. Well played.

You can watch the whole exchange below, or if you’re into meta things, read the recap at People.com.