If you read Dlisted or follow Patton Oswalt on Twitter, you may be familiar with Phoebe Price, if not by name then by face.
OK, face might be the wrong word.
EDIT: These tweets are from 2011, when his daughter was 2. Apologies, I didn’t realize the date wasn’t in the image.
Holy shit, Patton. Anyway.
Phoebe Price can generally be found walking casually.
Casually engaging in fall activities.
Being casual on the beach.
Casually enjoying some ice cream.
Casually offering thoughts and prayers.
She can also be found posing casually in front of car accidents and casually attempting a totally accidental casual wardrobe malfunction, not at all planned at all. Just generally being a casual human.
But…why? Why, we ask ourselves? She is constantly being photographed, and she is sometimes found on actual red carpets at actual events. Like fucking Cannes.
For years I have wondered. Today, I will investigate.
First and foremost, this is no light investigation. It is very difficult to find information on someone whose entire internet role is “who the fuck is this?”
Her IMDb biography reads as such:
Date of Birth 27 September 1972, Alabama, USA
Birth Name Phoebe Denise Price
Height 5’ 7” (1.7 m)
Phoebe was born in Alabama and as a young child had a passion for modeling and acting. At the age of 19 she bought her first corporations which were in fashion and entertainment. She later became an international actress and model in Capetown, S.A Athens, Greece and Milan, Italy. After leaving Milan she came to Los Angeles and has studied acting with the top coaches to perfect her skills. She loves working with charities and is the spokeswoman for Battered Women. She is also a designer of Hats and Headbands found in leading boutiques in Beverly Hills and California.
According to this actual sleuth, her age appears to be real, lining up with a high school yearbook from Jasper, Alabama.
The IMDb bio is listed as being written by “PManagement,” which shows no other entries on IMDb. A quick Google of PManagement and Phoebe Price brought up former fan mail address, which appears to be within an LA apartment complex. The new address for fan mail is listed as “Phoebe Price Designs,” but on Manta still has an email address of “[email protected]” The address for Phoebe Price Designs is registered at the same address as Femme Fan Couture, but they appear to be unrelated businesses. That is, Femme Fan Couture seems to be a business and there is little to be found on Phoebe Price Designs at all. The URL is incorrect on her Facebook page:
And a corrected spelling just leads here:
As for actual reasons for who she is and how she gets into major events and why she get photographed? The sum total of my investigation is “fuck if I know.” The best theory among the three or four people I could find similarly wondering enough to theorize is that her father was a small business owner, he passed away, he left her a large inheritance and she is using it to appear as famous as she can. The scant rumors I could find say she gets kicked out of these events after she gets herself on the carpet.
So the long and short answer is I don’t know either. Chick is a ghost hiding in plain sight, buttflaps and all. Like Tommy Wiseau, she is this highly public person whose personal narrative is so implausible, but it’s almost impossible to find out the truth because that self-promoted public image is the only thing people have any interest in, and calling it “interest” is being generous. Can you imagine? Trying so hard to be this public image that that public image and people asking why it exists are the only bits of information that can be found. Pictures and people asking why. Nothing more.
Kudos to Pheebs on her gusto and moxie. Whatever it is she’s doing to whatever end, it seems to be exactly what she wants.
My investigation is largely a bust. But we’ll always have the grocery store.