A photo like this? On a slow news day? How could I let it pass me by.
1. This is my headshot for ABC’s Celebrity Bachelor. Pick me darlin, and I’ll let you wear my dinner jacket slash dress shirt combination.
2. I’m auditioning for the new lead singer of Skynrd. FREE BIRD.
3. I spent a lot of time this morning deciding whether or not to show you my left nipple or my right one. I think we can all agree that I made the appropriate choice. *devil horns* I’M JORDAN CATALANO, MOTHERF***ERS.
4. I could’ve chose leather pants or vinyl pants, but I went with vinyl because it’s shinier. It represents the spotlight I stand in every day when I leave my house. *hair flip*
5. I’m not going to let that Oscar statuette I carry around with me at all times stop me from being who I am. This is me, baby. Climb on.
(via Ranylt Richildis)