You’re sitting there reading that headline thinking “no we don’t,” and first of all, how dare you, and second of all, WRONG. WE DO. GET WITH THE MARABOU PROGRAM.
This was originally slated to be a post celebrating ’90s boy bands in winter clothing. And that post is coming, don’t you worry. But as I was compiling, I was captured. Captured in a web of mesh, pleather and snakeskin. And they were all courtesy of NSYNC.
Yes yes yes here we go. NSYNC has got the faux (fur).
Let’s start all the way back in 1997 when our intrepid heroes had one mission: make sweater vests with nothing underneath A THING.
Don’t get smug just because you chose to forego Naked Sweater Vest Day, Justin.
Then there was that time they weren’t famous yet and had to borrow their dads’ suits.
How about the Asian appropriation period we don’t talk about?
How about when Joey was like “guys, why’d we stop wearing sweater vests? I miss my sweater vest? IMMA REVERSE THAT LOOK AND WEAR AN INVISIBLE SWEATER VEST” and Justin and Lance were like “we can’t hear you over the sound of our hair” and Chris was like “ha, you two have dumb hair; bet you wish it was great like mine” and JC was like “I’m definitely going to be the breakout star due to my good looks and superior vocals.”
And then suddenly it was 1998, the year they went massive and things got entirely out of hand.
Oh baby angels.
Oh honey bunches.
I genuinely didn’t think I’d find such treasures.
This is the most respectable they’ve ever looked.
COATS COATS COATS
MORE COATS COATS COATS BUT JUSTIN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT ONE ON
Justin Timberlake did this and we still allowed him to become a king.
It’s possible this post will last forever. Like you may be scrolling for the rest of the day.
You know we haven’t even really delved into the stagewear and as you can see that is a mistake.
Justin was a fancy baby pirate for a while and that’s fine.
This is when Justin started dressing like a broken Lenny Kravitz. Keri Russell is like “I can’t laugh at his baby midriff because we go so way back but I want to.”
And JC clearly was not even about to let him be the sole recipient of Lenny’s consignment loads.
But Justin was like THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
Good god, men.
I mean where does one even start? Somehow Justin looks the *least* abysmal until you remember that was the same night as this:
I keep waiting for the moment where Justin is like “I am going to be very big and famous, I should probably stop dressing like a trashmonster asshole” and it is not happening.
We’re finally nearing the time this pop life began to fade out.
When Justin stopped coming around as much and JC got his haircut like Reba McEntire.
But we’ll always have the memories.