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Tom Lenk Answers: Must We Go To Burning Man?

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | August 31, 2016 |

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | August 31, 2016 |

We’ve all got that friend: The Burning Man devotee. They’re obsessed. This time of year, all they talk about is the life-changing weirdness in the faraway desert. It’s our jobs as their friends to nod politely, maybe even indulgently as they rattle on about the costumes and the drugs and the freedom, leaving out the weather and the sand and the moop. But when they try to convert us? We are all Tom Lenk. Except for Jack Plotnick; he is your regrettable Burning Man friend.

Stage One: No thank you. No.

Stage Two: Guess what, I feel creative every day.

Stage Three: I’m sorry, MOOP!?

Stage Four: If one more person says “playa” like they’re a geologist …

Stage Five: No shade, no go.

Stage Six: I actually really hate magic.

Stage Seven: Omigod! You have to READ THINGS?!

Stage Eight: Pooping in trailers.

Stage Nine: Therapy and AC.

Yep. We’re good. Kthanx.

Kristy Puchko knows the header is from The Wicker Man.

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Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.