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A Seriously Sexy List of All the Times Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Earned that Sexiest Man Alive Title

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | November 15, 2016 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | November 15, 2016 |

I believe it was in the book of Deuteronomy that it was written, “He is The Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. And you can smell that which He is cooking. Amen. BAM, PEOPLE’S ELBOW.”

People Magazine giveth and taketh away. Sometimes they normalize and celebrate an odious monster who assaulted one of their writers, and sometimes they pick Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as their sexiest man alive. I’m not here for you, People Magazine. You get no clicks from me on this day.

But Mr. Johnson? You. Can. Get. All of it.

What makes him so deserving of our love?

There was that time he surprised Screen Junkies’ Nick Mundy and officiated his wedding.

There was that time he bought his mom a new car.

That time he told us about his first minute-and-a-half in heaven.

That time he played patty cake in full Herc gear.

That time he had goals.

That time he was goals.

Fanny pack and lean take it to a whole other level… #90sRock #WTF #BuffLesbian

A photo posted by therock (@therock) on

All the times he was the cutest dad ever.

And all the times he joined forces with the other world’s best human.

He is a hero, he is an icon, he is THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.