This Week In 'Seriously, F*ck That Guy': Bryan Singer, Johnny Depp, Woody Allen, And Chris Brown

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | June 14, 2019 |

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | June 14, 2019 |

Who needs coffee when you’ve got rage? Despite allegations or admitted crimes of abuse, these famous menfolk are doing just fine! Woody Allen, Bryan Singer, Johnny Depp, and Chris Brown have news to share.

-Alleged child rapist/director Woody Allen is at work on a new movie. Sure, his last one about a grown-ass man falling in love with a teenage girl got shelved by Amazon and is currently without a distributor. And sure, the allegations that he sexually molested his young daughter got renewed attention with the Me Too movement. But these actors are still eager to work with Allen. Cristoph Waltz, Elena Anaya, Louis Garrel, Gina Gershon, Sergi López, and Wally Shawn will join Allen this summer in Spain to shoot a “comedy-romance” (not a rom-com, mind you) about a married couple who goes to a film festival and falls for other people. Allow me to shock you: the woman falls for a film director. (Variety)

-Alleged serial child rapist/director Bryan Singer will settle one rape accusation by paying a $150,000 settlement. In his lawsuit, Cesar Sanchez-Guzman claimed Singer sexually assaulted him on a yacht when Sanchez-Guzman was 17. Singer denies this and all other allegations that were detailed in The Atlantic exposé earlier this year. (The Wrap)

-Alleged domestic abuser/musician Johnny Depp wants you to know that suing Amber Heard with a $50 million defamation lawsuit hasn’t stopped him from making music. The Hollywood Vampires (Depp, Joe Perry, and Alice Cooper) have a new album out. The press release includes this curious line, “Forget the star-studded lineup’s individual reputations, “Rise” is some of the purest, unapologetic and most enjoyable rock and roll of the year, made by masters of the craft and true fans of the form.” Translation: Forget that Depp allegedly hit, kicked, and chucked bottles at his ex-wife, because rock n’ roll!

-Admitted domestic abuser/musician Chris Brown teamed with Drake for a new track called “No Guidance.” The song got attention less for its quality than for Drake fans calling out the Canadian rapper for being disrespectful to Brown’s ex, Rihanna, to whom he’d previously proclaimed his love. (Capital Xtra)

I’m old enough to remember when Chris Brown beat up Rihanna. I don’t understand why Drake would work with him. I thought he respected her.

— Stuart Henderson (@henderstu) June 8, 2019

Billboard notes the pair’s collaboration shouldn’t come as a surprise, as Brown appeared onstage at a Drake concert in LA last year. The article glosses over Brown’s horrific physical assault on Rihanna, but reports she was the reason for their years-long feud, before proclaiming blithely the rappers have now “squashed their beef.” Cool cool.

-In other news, musician/style icon/beauty mogul Rihanna has been declared the richest female musician in the world.
Richer than Madonna.
Richer than Beyoncé.
So f*ck those guys, and shine bright like a diamond. (BBC)