By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | December 7, 2014 |
By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | December 7, 2014 |
Ever since I came across this completely crazy Debbie Reynolds memorabilia auction this summer, I’ve been a little obsessed with the concept of celebrity auctions. Do they desperately need cash? Where are they storing all this stuff? Is it all on display, or in an attic somewhere? Well, my mustache-loving friends, today we’ve stumbled upon the celebrity auction jackpot: Burt F*cking Reynolds is getting rid of his sh*t. There are a lot of hats, a lot of boots, and a lot of paintings of sailboats. A lot of awards and a LOT of guns. But here are the weirdest things you can find in Burt Reynold’s auction.
This robe. When you want to wrap yourself in fabric that has DEFINITELY touched the Bandit’s naughty bits.
Current bid: $700
This Burt Reynolds nameplate. Because as of now no one believes you when you pretend to be Burt Reynolds. This’ll make it legit.
Current bid: $500
This ugly-ass mirror lined with multicolored cowboyboots.
Current bid: $600
These wooden hangers. That’s seriously all they are. Five wooden hangers.
Current bid: $400
This expired credit card. And here I’ve just been throwing out my old cards! I should be saving them. For posterity. And auctions.
Current bid: $400
Bolo ties. You know you actually really really want Burt Reynolds’ bolo ties.
Starting bid: $400
This collection of “Seven buckles and a coaster.” There are a few different collections of belt buckles. This one apparently thought it needed to throw in a coaster to make it worth it.
Current bid: $500
A whole bunch of keys to various cities. A LOT of cities have given Burt Reynolds their key. He apparently doesn’t want them anymore.
Current bid: $300
This non-floating canoe.
Current bid: $600
This incredibly accurate poster.
Current bid: $600
This mounted Kodiak bear. Note: shipping from Florida is not included. Though if you want this thing in your house, you probably already live n Florida.
Current bid: $4,000
These branding irons! So all your meat/pets/friends know who they belong to: Burt Reynolds.
Current bid: $200
This autographed picture of the cast of Friends.
Current bid: $800
Burt’s personal leather chaps. For… reasons.
Current bid: $500. That actually seems like an oddly good deal.
This super sassy letter from Jack Lemmon. In thanking Reynolds for a donation to the Jack Lemmon Burn Center at the Children’s Hospital of Buffalo, he writes:
I do think it is important for me to clarify an area of possible confusion on your part. Burn Center has nothing to do with critical reaction to your work. However, it’s too fucking late so we’re going to keep the money and help a hell of a lot of kids.
These various law enforcement badges. 13 of them, to be exact.
Current bid: $1,750
A 1977 Trans Am Coupe, which was not IN Smokey and the Bandit, was was sort of AROUND Smokey and the Bandit. It was used in promotional ads, and was a gift to Burt.
Current bid: $130,000
Or if that price tag is too steep, how about this Smokey and the Bandit go-kart? That’s basically the same thing, right?
Current bid: $2,500
This carriage gifted to Burt from Dolly Parton. You need this in your life.
Current bid: $4,250. Worth it.