The VMAs Had One Queen to Rule them All

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | August 25, 2014 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | August 25, 2014 |

Guys. GUYS.

Beyonce performed at the MTV VMAs last night. And it. Was. LIFEGIVING.

NO. YOU WATCH THAT WHOLE THING. YOU WATCH ALL 16 MINUTES AND THEN YOU SAY “THANK YOU, MRS. CARTER, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?”

ARE YOU COMPLETELY LOSING YOUR GODDAMN MIND RIGHT NOW? LAVERNE COX SURE IS.

(Mashable)

YOU SHOULD BE MORE LIKE LAVERNE COX. SHE IS FLAWLESS. BUT BEYONCE? SHE IS ***FLAWLESS. SHE EVEN MENTIONS THAT SOMETIMES SHIT GOES DOWN IN ELEVATORS LIKE IT’S FUCKING NOTHING. WHY ARE YOU NOT BOWING DOWN? YOU ARE DISTURBINGLY, DISTRACTINGLY STANDING. BOW THE FUCK RIGHT THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

(MTV)

THEN JAY AND BABY BLUE COME UP AND GIVE HER THE AWARD AND SHE’S CRYING AND THEY KISS BECAUSE DIVORCE RUMORS ARE ONLY BENEFICIAL IF YOU CAN DEBUNK THEM AND THEY ARE PERFECT UNTIL THEY DIVORCE AT A BENEFICIAL TIME IF THEY SO CHOOSE. YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU ARE A PEASANT, AS AN AMOEBA TO HER.

That said, the queen of the night wasn’t actually Beyonce. It was Baby Blue. Blue Ivy Carter. The BIC.

LOOK AT HER. COWER AT HER PERFECTION. HER MOVES HAVE MOVES AND YOU ARE NOTHING. SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE WAY, RITA ORA, OR SHE WILL SET YOU ON FIRE WITH HER EYES OF POWER.

Anyway. It was pretty cool.