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The Justin Bieber Deposition Tape is a Modern Art Masterpiece

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | March 10, 2014 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | March 10, 2014 |

I’ve got to be honest with you—I’ve been having a rough go of it lately. On the Pete Campbell scale, I’ve spent the last couple weeks firmly planted at “Not great, Bob.” I’ve desperately needed something wonderful to happen to me. And, today, it has. Because, today, Justin Bieber’s deposition tapes were released. And they. Have. Everything.

Before I even watched, I knew something beautiful awaited me, courtesy of this tiddlybit right here:

When asked if Usher discovered him, Bieber disses his mentor and says he was actually discovered on YouTube. The best part … he clearly was trying to say he himself was instrumental in his success, but instead he says, “I was detrimental to my own career.”

HA. Fetus Boy is stupid.

Anyway, I urge you, I beg you, please, watch them all. Have your lives changed and your outlooks turned.

I had a fleeting moment where I almost felt bad for this post. I thought, what if he’s unwell? What if he is Bynesing? This helped that. This helped that a lot. DON’T WORRY GUYS. STILL JUST A DOUCHE. A DB. A JUSTIN D-BER! *runs through a field of daisies on a bicycle high-fiving some tampons or something, I don’t know, I’m just so happy*

Buy a Pajiba T-Shirt at the Pajiba Store.

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