For nearly a decade and a half, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have been the weird bizarro world version of Hollywood royalty. They’ve worked together consistently, had children together, and lived adjacent in the romantic ideal for introverts and light sleepers: in adjoining London townhouses with elaborate connecting walkways. For years, they’ve done their relationship their way, criticism be damned. Because they may be superstars, but that doesn’t mean they’ll compromise on their innate glorious weirdness.
But we are at the end of an eccentric era, my friends. The two have consciously uncoupled, leaving us short one team of balls to the wall weirdoes. It’s especially sad because I’ve always thought that the team that accessorizes together…
Don’t worry about Johnny Depp, though. This custody battle will be quick and easy. According to HBC, “Oh, Tim can have him! They get the same poo jokes. Nothing will separate them.” Well, she’ll always have her tiny hats.