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The Best and Worst of the Met Gala 2023: Karl Lagerfeld Would've Hated It So Much

By Alberto Cox Délano | Celebrity | May 2, 2023 |

By Alberto Cox Délano | Celebrity | May 2, 2023 |


We need to remind ourselves that fashion can be art. Great art at times.

The Met Gala is problematic. It can be the ultimate expression of late capitalist excess and gross wealth inequality while, at the same time, it can become a walking exhibition of some of the best creators and craftspeople in an industry that, as I said, can make art. Some people with limited critical skills are now parroting the virtues of “Stealth Wealth fashion”, which f**king sucks and is even more offensively wasteful since it isn’t even pretty. That’s the real enemy, the things the über-wealthy actually wear. With that in mind, I can’t have a problem with the Met Gala itself, and I will defend its existence in front of the People’s Tribunal after the Revolution succeeds, as a display of humankind’s ingenuity and culture.

But then again, this year, the first Monday of May coincided with May 1st and a looming (now confirmed) WGA strike. Point to the Met Gala haters. Worse still, since last year’s theme was too complicated, the organizers went with an easier concept: ‘Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty’. Now, there are a lot of things to like about the old bastard’s creativity, but the old bastard was also a fatphobic asshole, which is not so much a bug but a feature of High Fashion.

Nevertheless, despite or because of this, the Met Gala was a step above last year’s. Nowhere near as iconic as 2019’s, but an improvement. Well, with the exception of…

The Ones That Actually Wore Chanel.

Look, I’m not saying Chanel is overrated, or unpretty, but just like Lagerfeld, it thinks too highly of itself when, in this day and age, they are not killers. Let’s start with the dresses that looked pretty but nothing much else. As with the last time, all credits and thanks go to @checkthetag on Instagram and their phenomenal work.

Giselle Bündchen
Interesting, but she should’ve gone the full “Happily Divorced” this year.

Jennie (from BLACKPINK)
The kind of cutesy little dress that borders on overly twee.


Margaret Qualley
I will always like these pseudo-nightwear mini-dresses, but she should have been accessorized.


Nicole Kidman
As saccharine as those Chanel ads she did in the ’00s.


Then there were the ones that actually looked interesting in Chanel (usually in custom or vintage).

Dua Lipa
Yeah, I prefer how it looks on her than how it looked on Claudia Schiffer originally.

Margot Robbie
Is this a dream? Could it be possible? Is this AI or are we actually seeing Margot Robbie in a gorgeous, flattering dress styled to perfection?


But if we are talking about someone that looked spectacular in Chanel, in ways that would’ve made the old bastard melt like the nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark … well, for that you call Lizzo.


Compared with her, everyone else in Chanel looked boring. I mean, they looked boring beforehand, but now they looked even boring-er.

The Ones That Actually Wore Karl Lagerfeld.

Outside of the confines of the old fascist lady’s house, the old bastard had better ideas.

Bryan Tyree Henry
Understood the assignment and went above and beyond the line of duty.


Cara Delevigne
I’ll allow it.


Michelle Yeoh
Liked this more than her Oscar dress.


The Ones Who Stayed on Theme But Wore More Interesting Designers

The biggest winner of the night was Thom Browne, who actually has a wonderful handle on the black & white counterpoints with ingenious deconstructions of Lagerfeld’s favorites, like corsets and oversized shoulder pads. His is the dress worn by model Sora Choi in the banner.

Bella Ramsey
They looked lovely in this suit, which also reminds me of the armors on Lady Mormont.


Jenna Ortega
Perhaps a bit too teenie-childish, but very playful and beautiful styling.


Janelle Monáe
Question: Is Janelle Monáe the Vice-Marshal of the Met Gala, following Rihanna in the line of succession, or is she eventually going to become the full Field Marshal? There is such a sense of humor in this ensemble.

Teyanna Taylor
Honestly, some high-ranking, C-Suite exec should actually wear this on a normal day and just tell Stealth Wealth fashion to go f**k itself.

I don’t know if we can say that Versace is the exact opposite of Lagerfeld, but we do know that the old bastard hated pink and women with curves, so … Anne Hathaway. This is a custom and this babe’s way of tap dancing over the old bastard’s grave while staying on theme. This is not a Hathaissance, because she never really left.


Donatella Versace
The fact that this is as deliberately pink as it is should not distract us from the fact that it is a fire fit.


Now Gucci might be the true opposite of Lagerfeld, and yet somehow many of their designs stayed on topic and took a victory lap over the old bastard’s legacy.

Jessica Chastain
OK, my thirst for her is well-documented, but this is objectively awesome.

Daisy Edgar-Jones
Honestly, sometimes stylists and designers tend to put her in things that are annoyingly cutesy. Wasn’t the case this time. Love how minimalistic the cuts are in this fabric.

Salma Hayek
Yo, Karl, hope you like corsets.

In other designers.

Amanda Seyfried in Custom Oscar de la Renta.
I actually love this and find it impeccably hot. I am also featuring her because she said Worker’s Rights when asked about the WGA Strike, which makes her even hotter.

Best Dudes of the Night
Related to the best looks of the night, but just a cut below.

Bad Bunny in Jacquemus
Many will consider this the best dude of the night, I would agree, but I think there’s one that did it even better. Still, Benito is becoming a legend.

Ke Huy Quan in Dior
I’m going to tell my kids he was actually the stylish man who wore fingerless leather gloves and hip chains.

The Best Looks of the Night
Now let’s be serious, people.

Conan Grey in Balmain.
Things that men should actually wear. Epic.

Cardi B in Chenpeng Studio
Good night for Latines all around. This dress has flown a little bit under the radar, but it’s on theme and goes beyond it.


Yara Shahidi in Gaultier
Can you get more beautiful than her? The color is delicious, the hairstyle is smooth, the dress is on topic but uniquely Gaultier. No crumbs.

Michaela Coel in Custom Schiaparelli
Just like Yara’s, it’s sexy, looks delicious, it’s on topic but it’s its own thing, but it is also regal. Imperial, but not Imperial in the European way, all overstuffed in unnecessary gilding. Every jewel, every golden tassel, and detail is in the right place.

Anok Yai in Prabal Gurung. Just as regal as Michaela and Yara, but it also looks playful with its mini-skirt.

And that closes this edition of … what’s that? What about Rihanna?


Look, it was OK. She wore a bridal-ish Valentino, but it wasn’t … a fashion moment. Same thing with Florence Pugh’s. Her Valentino looked as uninspired as the ones worn by David Beckham’s useless son’s wife. They can’t all be winners.

A Couple Flops.
Look, I hate being mean and there’s a good reason why the era of the Giuliana Rancics is over (#ThanksZendaya). But still, some things you just cannot.

Alexandra Daddario in Dior.

Well, it wasn’t all L’s for the old bastard Lagerfeld. Nothing would’ve made him happier than putting an awful dress on a beautiful woman with a healthy and sexy body. She needs to hire a new stylist, and women in general need to start a class action against Dior.

Jared Leto in Choupette Disguise (Kaiser Karl’s cat).
If I saw this thing on the street, I’d kill it.

Alberto Cox can’t wait for the time the Met Gala chooses cosplay as its theme.