Though I don’t have them myself, and neither do my kids, I know a lot of people who designate godparents for their children. Being a non-religious person sometimes leaves me wondering if the mister and I have done our offspring a disservice for a number of reasons, and assigning godparents falls under that umbrella. At the same time, I’ve never known a person whose kids actually had anything more than a “Oh blankety-blank is my godparent” kind of relationship with their designees, nor have I known a godparent who actually carried out their purported duties (and granted, I’m basically a heathen, so what do I know?), so when I hear about celebrities and the celebrity godparents they choose, all I think is: “HOW COOL IS THAT?” Bragging rights! I mean, wouldn’t it be the shit if say, David Bowie were your godfather?
I have no idea if anyone can say that.
Jumping off those crazythoughts, I’ve gone out and combed the interwebs just for you, so we can all be being totally jealous of the kids who get to say these people are their godparents. I mean, what else are we supposed to do with our celebrities, if not envy their coolness? That said, having a cool godparent (Steven Spielberg) is how Gwyneth Paltrow got her start in the business, and as we’ve seen, what once was cool can quickly turn to solid…Goop.
Godmamas, don’t let your godchildren grow up to be Goopsters. Here’s your list.
Sophia Loren: Godmother to Drew Barrymore
(Spielberg is Drew’s godfather, too)
Drew Barrymore: Godmother to Francis Bean Cobain
Joan Collins: Godmother to Cara Delevingne
Dolly Parton: Godmother to Miley Cyrus
Elton John: Godfather to Julian Lennon, and Romeo and Brooklyn Beckham
Sting: Godfather to Rocco Ritchie
Bono: Godfather to Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt
(Shut up, haters! Bono is too cool. Plus, he almost got killed on his bicycle last year, and think how extra-cool he’d be if he actually died!*)
Paul Newman and Jamie Lee Curtis: Godparents to Jake Gyllenhaal
*I don’t even know what that means.