It is with heavy and what feels like only half a heart that I finished out this parade of suits and gowns this morning, for we’ve lost a hero and much of my life’s soundtrack. Do me a solid and play this track as you scroll through…
Portia Doubleday in Naeem Khan (My personal favorite.)
Laverne Cox in Elizabeth Kennedy
Kirsten Dunst in Valentino
Lady Gaga in Versace
Jennifer Lawrence in Dior
Though slightly baggy in the hip area, this is still uniquely beautiful.
Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli
I know, I know; it’s JLo! But she knows how to pick a dress.
Carly Chaikin in Juan Carlos Obando
Brie Larson in Calvin Klein
This looked better on television; here’s it feels like the boobage area is being dragged down.
We Like It, But…
Maggie Gyllenhaal in Marc Jacobs
I just really want to walk up to her and bite off that flower with my teeth. Not a euphamism.
Jamie Alexander in Genny
neckwaistline, but we’re uncertain whether the pattern is great, or reminiscent of high end department store wrapping paper.
So Stunningly Gorgeous the Dress Is Transcended:
Viola Davis in Marchesa
Mind you, the dress isn’t terrible; it simply doesn’t do Ms. Davis justice.
Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka
Mirren’s dress is simple elegance; Helen is a knockout.
Regina King in Krikor Jabotian
King is gorgeous. The dress may have worked, but the curtain hanging behind is a travesty.
Cate Blanchett in Givenchy
This one looked so pretty up close, despite the frumpy middle pattern, and Blanchett was glowing. Unfortunately, the dress seemed to have a tail.
Uzo Aduba in Prabal Gurung
Uzo was gorgeous despite her ill-fitting dress.
We’re Okay, You’re…Just Okay:
These are all lovely dresses, just not standout dresses.
Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton
This one really depended upon the camera angle.
Julia Louis Dreyfuss in Lanvin
Taraji P. Henson in Stella McCartney
Saoirse Ronan in Yves Saint Laurent
Caitriona Balfe in Alexander McQueen
Amber Heard in Gucci
Julianne Moore in Tom Ford
Bryce Dallas Howard in Jenny Packham
Emmy Rossum in Armani Prive
America Ferrera in Jenny Packham
Amy Schumer in Prabal Gurung
Joanne Froggatt in Reem Acra
Maura Tierney in Elizabeth Kennedy
Gina Rodriguez in Zac Posen
Everybody Say, “Meh.”
Kate Winslet in Ralph Lauren
Come on, Kate! You’re in a rut. It’s time to find your inner Kidman and step it up a notch.
Amy Adams in Versace
Jennifer Jason Leigh in Roland Mouret
Methinks this is someone else’s dress.
Where Have All the Queens’ Good Dresses Gone?
Natalie Dormer in J. Mendel
Emilia Clarke in Valentino
And speaking of Game of Thrones (related people), someone please find Amanda Peet a stylist.
Amanda Peet in Alexander McQueen
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
Kate Hudson in Michael Kors
Not a pool party, Kate.
Sorry Ladies, But This Went Wrong. (Regardless, You’re Gorgeous!)
Rooney Mara in Alexander McQueen
Eva Green in Elie Saab
Leslie Mann in Monique Lhuillier
Melissa Benoist in Monique Lhuillier
This pattern is so wrong.
Felicity Huffman in Lorena Sarbu
Rachel McAdams in Lanvin
Taylor Schilling in Thakoon
All the Pretty
Horses Men (aka Sorry, I cannot think straight when I see an Outlander dude)
AKA the most adorable Golden Globe first-timer ever.
AKA We could not love you more if we tried.
Excluded: Leo Give-Me-My-Oscar DiCaprio, because he’s too busy side-eyeing Lady G.
Couples in Couture
Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone
Emmy Rossum and Sam Esmail
Olivia Wilde in Michael Kors and Jason Sudeikis in…Concord Jordan 11s
Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum (in Zuhair Murad Couture)
Patrick Stewart and Sunny Ozell
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart
Jamie Alexander and Peter Facinelli
Kirsten Dunst and Garrett Hedlund
Denzel Washington with his beautiful family.