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Thanks, Piers Morgan, for Teaching Us What Empowers Us, Personally, As Women

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | August 29, 2016 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | August 29, 2016 |

Piers Morgan has a long history of critiquing women and women’s fashion or lack thereof under the auspices of…feminism? Being helpful? Expressing deep concern that the entire clothing industry would go under if women start getting all naked-like? I don’t know. He’s awful, generally speaking.

But don’t worry, ladies. He finally found an expression of empowerment that is correct and acceptable.

I’d say, you know, Piersypoo, maybe you don’t *get* an opinion on what is or is not personally empowering for any wholly unique woman. But I guess that would make me pretty insufferable and uncompromising.

*slaps forehead* My bad! I’m sorry for my thoughts! I mean, the nice man is teaching me how to woman right. I should listen. I’m sorry.


So so sorry to be so rude. I mean, it’s not my place to determine for myself what empowers me. It’s his! Again, sorry. Just so sorry.


Because what would we do without mansplaining?


What would we do without men “just playing devil’s advocate” and considering both sides of what our tiny lady brains might consider wholly unequal matters?


What would life be like without men like Piers Morgan?


So thanks, Piers Morgan. For telling us how to feel.