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ctates 21 jump street.jpg

Step Into the Light and Accept Channing Tatum as Your Lord and Personal Gambit

By Rebecca Pahle | Celebrity | May 13, 2014 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Celebrity | May 13, 2014 |

Sorry, Taylor Kitsch. But CTates has got this. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Kitsch is OK, I guess. But can he do this?

Or this?

I DIDN’T THINK SO. Go back to your space dog, John Carter.

Channing Tatum would take a bullet for you.

But you can’t take the role of Gambit from him, because he is a capital-f Fanboy who just got the role he always wanted to play, and damned if that’s not stupid cute, much like this gif of him with a puppy.

Channing Tatum thinks you look beautiful today.

Channing Tatum is considerate of your dietary preferences.

And even if Channing Tatum is not the best actor to grace the world—which he is

—this is the franchise that gave us Professor X and Magneto discussing mutant politics while playing chess on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, OK? It gave us Jennifer Lawrence delivering the ham-fisted line of dialogue “Mutant and proud.” It is not exactly the most well-scripted series in the world. People think Channing Tatum is going to ruin it? Please.

CTates is Gambit, and he’s here to stay. Suck it, fools.

Rebecca loves Channing Tatum and she doesn’t really know why. You can find her on The Mary Sue and Twitter.