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Ariana Grande Miley Cyrus.jpg

Shove Your Apology, Piers Morgan

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | June 5, 2017 |

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | June 5, 2017 |

After the May 22nd terrorist attack at the Manchester Arena during one of her concerts, wherein 22 people were killed and over 50 injured, singer Ariana Grande organised a fundraising concert in aid of the victims. In less than a fortnight, the 23 year old helped to put together a beautiful event with major stars including Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus, for a benefit gig broadcast worldwide that raised millions of pounds for those in need. Highlights of the evening include a massive sing-along of Oasis’s Don’t Look Back in Anger, Grande joining with the Parrs Wood High School choir to sing My Everything while holding one of the soloist’s hands, a moving duet between Grande and Cyrus of the Crowded House song Don’t Dream It’s Over, and a surprise performance from Imogen Heap. It was a phenomenally moving evening, and one that Ms Grande should be immensely proud of. The people of Manchester, and indeed the rest of the UK, have happily taken her on as an honourary Mancunian, and her tireless work should be commended, especially given the undeniable trauma she must have experienced. You can watch clips from the show on YouTube and continue to donate to British Red Cross.

So of course Piers Morgan came along to fuck it all up.

Morgan, who America returned to us even though we didn’t agree to those terms, is now a co-host on one of the morning talk-shows here, where he spends most of his time being a toadying weasel and faux-provocateur two steps away from shitting himself and flinging it against the wall for attention. His favourite hobbies include lecturing Kim Kardashian on her body, demanding proof of Beyonce’s feminism and complaining about her political shift, denying Lady Gaga’s admissions of PTSD following sexual assault, and generally mansplaining the basic acts of womanhood to half the population. It was of no surprise to anyone that, in the aftermath of the horrific tragedy that happened in Manchester, his primary concern seemed to be in shaking is finger at Ms Grande.

He demanded to know why she didn’t immediately run to the hospital to visit the injured from the concert, tweeting, “If the Queen can visit the victims in hospital, so can the star they paid to see.” Never mind that she did later on do this very thing, Morgan seemed unconcerned with the possibility that perhaps the 23 year old woman currently under worldwide pressure and possible trauma had her own health to worry about. This demand of action from a man who contributes nothing good to the world would have been funny if the circumstances weren’t so upsetting. Seems awfully coincidental that Morgan’s public attacks of choice tend to be women. Can’t imagine why.

Now Grande has been deemed worthy of Morgan’s respect, and all she had to do was raise close to £10m for charity. In a series of self-aggrandizing tweets, Morgan offered an “apology”. And yes, that is his profile photo.

Oh good golly gosh, gee willikers, thanks Mr Morgan, I’m sure Ariana is so relieved to hear you now consider her worthy of basic human decency! I’m sure this smug posturing is rooted in real sincerity and not a narcissistic obsession with making every little thing about you. And I bet this is unconditional success too, and you won’t rescind it the moment she wears a skirt too short for your liking and you decide she’s just a frivolous little girl like every woman you come into contact with.

Shove your bullshit, Piers Morgan. You’re barely a millionth the person Ariana Grande is.

I’ll end this with one of our nation’s favourite jokes:

What’s the definition of “countryside”?

Killing Piers Morgan.

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Kayleigh is a features writer for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter or listen to her podcast, The Hollywood Read.