In the ’90s, Leonardo DiCaprio wasn’t the Oscar Smiegel we know him to be today. Why, back then he was merely an attractive, talented actor who hung out with a gang of his male peers and flipped through supermodel ‘tang fast enough to get a papercut. OK, maybe he was exactly the same guy he is today. But one thing has changed: the name of his clique. His squad. His (is there a name for a simultaneous gag and eyeroll?) “Wolf Pack.”
Yes, the group of DiCapri-bros consisting primarily of Leo, Tobey Maguire, Lukas Haas, Jay Ferguson, Kevin Connolly and…David Blaine?…sure why not. They now call themselves the Wolf Pack. DiCaprio and his buddies refer to themselves the same way The Hangover trio, the Fuller House girls and your douchey cousin and his frat bros do. From the New York Daily News:
“They (apparently) called themselves ‘The Wolf Pack,’” one partygoer said. “The crew was literally howling like wolves all night. They kept chanting, ‘Wolf Pack, Wolf Pack, Wolf Pack!’”
The only thing missing is a vape pen. Oh, wait.
After enjoying a drink or two and sneaking a few puffs off his vaping pipe, DiCaprio headed to a waiting car where he was swarmed by paparazzi and adoring fans. Just before his car pulled away, a couple of Leo’s helpers rushed out to bring him what appeared to be a bottle of bubbly and the Oscar statue he’d left behind. Leo took the bottle and one of his handlers held the trophy.
Oh Leo. So talented. So good looking. So committed to that #VapeLife.
On this truly tragic day, we bid adieu to the Pussy Posse. Goodbye, you socially aware, skilled group of secret skeeves. The Pussy Posse is dead. Long live the Wolf Pack.
Ugh. Makes me want to crush a red plastic cup on my face.