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Reese Witherspoon's Bend, Snap and Stock At Walmart Meeting Is Anti-Magic

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | June 9, 2015 |

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | June 9, 2015 |

I understand that Reese Witherspoon is an ageless, magical creature, but she has officially started using her magic for evil.

Witherspoon was at the annual Walmart shareholder’s meeting on Friday, and taught a Walmart employee a new and improved way to stock shelves.

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I hate everything about this:

1.) Walmart. Everything about Walmart. Everything about the shitty way Walmart has influenced the entire service industry over the past 25 years to devalue workers for the benefit of executives.

2.) The vaguely staged, Glee-ish feel to her interactions with the Walmart employee. Absolutely nothing about that video feels organic or spontaneous, but this is Walmart so I should have expected that.

3.) The Bend and Snap. Yeah, I said it. It’s terrible, and I never understood why it was a thing. Watch this video:

Who actually thinks the “snap” part is sexy? I understand why bending over might be considered sexy, but so does every other person who has ever lived. So Elle’s contribution is the “Snap” aka “Surprise T- Rex”? “Oh look, I’m just casually bending over to pick up this thing that I dropped and SURPRISE! I’ve got no arms now!” She doesn’t even make the T- Rex noise with the T- Rex position. The one part of this shit show that could theoretically be sexy, she completely ignores.

Luckily for me, someone still understands how to be a sexy dinosaur.
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