By the time you read this, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas’s wedding festivities will be well underway—obviously, my invitation was lost in the mail. Looks like I’m in good company too, because Meghan Markle and Prince Harry won’t be in attendance for the nearly week-long festivities that will have not one, but two wedding ceremonies.
How do I know this? I read it here, you can too, I guess. If not, I’ll save you the click through.
So why won’t Meghan be in attendance, when Priyanka attended her wedding this summer? I mean, does it have to do with Royal obligations and the fact that Meghan is pregnant? Absolutely not—it clearly has to do with allegiance to One Direction. See, now that Meghan is a Royal, she needs to be on the English side of the on-going, never-ending battle of the boy bands America and England are currently waging. Since Nick Jonas is of the Brothers Jonai, he is locked in a brutal war of attrition against One Direction. Meghan, whether she likes it or not, cannot be seen at a Jonas wedding when she is mandated to be team #1D.
So who will be there if not Meghan? The list is long and strange, my friends. The Rock will be—which to be fair, if you can’t marry The Rock, you might as well invite The Rock to your wedding. Armie Hammer. Lupita Nyong’o. Kelly Ripa. Three names you never really expect to be linked together, but this is a joint Jonas Brothers/Chopra wedding. Anything can happen! Of course Sophie Turner, who is engaged to another Jonas, will be there as well. Maybe her gift to the new couple is to tell them how the series ends, before it airs next year?
The wedding is not without a bit of drama, though, as it is a day after the Bollywood wedding of Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh’s in Mumbai. The Chopra-Jonas wedding takes place in Jodphur, which is a full 16+ hour drive away from each other. This is an issue because there is a lot of guest list overlap for the two events, and some guests are attempting to make both. My advice? If you can’t go to both, go to the one with the better food—it’s a tactic that has never done me wrong.
If you want to follow all the wedding updates of the P+N=4Eva you can follow this Twitter account that seems to exist solely to track their relationship, which I guess shows that everyone has a hobby.
Congrats to the happy couple—and if you’re reading this, I suggest you double whatever food you have planned for the event since you invited The Rock. Thank me later.
Header Image Source: Getty