When caterwauling c*ckwomble Piers Morgan isn’t mansplaining to famous women how to be the best feminist, or making an ass out of himself on national television, this wart on the scuzzy undercarriage of the United Kingdom is shaming famous men for daring to be caring fathers. Specifically, Morgan decided to criticize Daniel Craig for carrying his child in a BabyBjorn.
Let us try to extrapolate the logic that led Morgan to post this pic with such scorn. Apparently, because Craig is famous for playing super-macho fictional character James Bond, he is meant to be the picture of machismo in every moment of his life onscreen and off. And in Morgan’s view, that means never being caught dead carrying a “papoose” with your child in it. Because (presumably) that’s woman’s work. Real men don’t carry babies.
Essentially, Morgan feels threatened by seeing a man he admires doing something he finds out of sync with his narrow view of masculinity. So he lashes out with a tweet meant to display how macho he himself is, when in fact just broadcasting “MASCULINITY SO FRAGILE!” Notably, Morgan lashed out at a celebrity who’s not on social media and avoids drawing attention to his private life. So, it’s unlikely Craig would respond to this petty attack, especially because if he did, it means the paparazzi pic of him and his child is spread even further. Morgan likely realizes that buffers him from a catastrophic confrontation. If this cantankerous fool truly has a bone to pick with modern daddies who shun the macho trappings Morgan holds so dear, he’d probably talk smack on The Rock.
Five months ago, when Dwayne Johnson’s daughter Tiana Gia was born, he shared a photo of the pair cuddling, with a special note to the gentlemen out there about how they should be a partner in the child’s delivery.
Skin to skin. Our mana. Blessed and proud to bring another strong girl into this world. Tiana Gia Johnson came into this world like a force of nature and Mama @laurenhashianofficial labored and delivered like a true rockstar. I was raised and surrounded by strong, loving women all my life, but after participating in baby Tia’s delivery, it’s hard to express the new level of love, respect and admiration I have for @laurenhashianofficial and all mamas and women out there. Word to the wise gentlemen, it’s critical to be by your lady’s head when she’s delivering, being as supportive as you can.. holding hands, holding legs, whatever you can do. But, if you really want to understand the single most powerful and primal moment life will ever offer - watch your child being born. Its a life changer and the respect and admiration you have for a woman, will forever be boundless. And to my third and youngest daughter, Tiana Gia - like I did when your two older sisters Simone Alexandra and Jasmine Lia were born, you have my word, I’ll love, protect, guide and make ya laugh for the rest of my life. Your crazy dad has many responsibilities and wears many hats in this big ol’ world, but being your dad will always be the one I’m most proud to wear. Oh and one more thing.. you’re gonna love rollin’ in daddy’s pick up truck. #TianaGiaJohnson🌺 #3rdDaughter #BlessesAndGratefulMan #ImInTROUBLE
More recently, Johnson shared a picture of him getting his fingernails painted by his daughter Jasmine, and tagged it “Papa Bear Priorities.”
Me: Come here baby, give daddy a kiss I gotta go to work. Jazzy: But daddy you need your nails painted. Me: Sorry baby, daddy’s gotta go to wor Jazzy: No daddy you really need your nails painted - as she looks up at me with her mama’s gorgeous blue eyes. Me: Yes, you’re absolutely right - daddy needs his nails painted. #PapaBearPriorities #NoRemoverNeeded 💅🏾
Strangely, Morgan didn’t call him out or imply he’s unmanly. His only mentions of The Rock are praise.
Maybe Morgan didn’t notice that The Rock tweets on the regular about fathering his daughters. Maybe Morgan is a coward who takes cheap shots and so wouldn’t dare try it. But here’s the upside: it doesn’t matter, because The Rock is a much greater influence on the upcoming generations of men and women than Morgan.
Right now, Morgan has a British talk show from which he often goes viral for making an ass of himself. He has 6.48 million Twitter followers, yet only 371 likes on that condescending Craig tweet. Meanwhile, Johnson has 13 million followers on Twitter and 118 million on Instragram, where he shares food pics, work out shots, and movie news and peeks into what it means to be a father who doesn’t fall prey to toxic masculinity’s bullshit. And then there’s the long line of movies, including The Fast and the Furious franchise, where he portrays a caring father who values saving the world as much as his daughter’s soccer practice.
My lil’ Jasmine Lia just looooves coming to hang out with me in the #IronParadise while I clang and bang and crank out loud tunes 🎶. It warms my cold black heart as she just sits on the ground and looks up in complete loving awe and says “Wow daddy you’re so strong” while I hammer away 🔨 💪🏾 Ironically, my baby son @kevinhart4real does the exact same thing too when he comes to watch me workout. #GratefulForTheseLittleMoments #TeachingAllMyBabyGirls #AndLittleKevKevToo #BeTheHardestWorkerInTheRoom
The idea that manhood need be a narrow lane where men can’t be soft or caring is a horrid trap that hurts men and women. Yet insecure people like Morgan will still hold up this festering sexism to make themselves feel less deficient. Meanwhile, you have men like Craig and Johnson, who carry their children, play with their daughters, value their partners, and won’t waste a moment on what the likes of Morgan make of them.
You know, real men.
← Review: Hank Green's 'An Absolutely Remarkable Thing' Is a Remarkable Takedown of Trump Era Politics | Reddit Asks the Question: 'Parents of Reddit, What Lessons Have You Tried to Teach to Your Kids That Backfired?' →
Header Image Source: Getty