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The Winner of the Latest GOP Debate Was, Hands Down, Patton Oswalt

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | October 29, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | October 29, 2015 |

During this week’s GOP debate, a lot of nonsense went down. While the candidates spewed their predictable blather, CNBC— who hosted the event— didn’t come off looking all that great either. A major low point was when the candidates were asked about their feelings on fantasy football sites like DraftKings and FanDuel (which have been in the news lately as an investigation is launched into what basically amounts to insider fantasy trading among the sites’ employees). Now, a lot of people (myself included) think this is an issue worth being addressed. But when other major issues go ignored, the question can’t help but sound frivolous.

That’s what Chris Christie thought, who went on a pretty solid rant at the question.

“Are we really talking about getting the government involved in fantasy football?” Christie asked. “We have $19 trillion in debt, we have people out of work, we have ISIS and Al-Qaeda attacking us and we’re talking about fantasy football?

“How about we get the government to do what they are supposed to be doing?” Christie continued after being showered with applause. “Secure our borders, protect our people and support American values and American families.”

You know who else found the question ridiculous? Patton Owsalt. Ridiculous enough to have an equally absurd response.

Does this make sense? As much sense as anything else that goes down at a GOP debate.

There you have it, your hapless band of roving halfwits. What do they have to say for themselves?

Alright then. See you all in the whore stables!