Friends, it is with heavy heart that I tell you that OrGar has been vanquished. For those of you who don’t closely follow Rita Ora or Andrew Garfield’s careers, what that means in layman’s terms is that they are no longer linked romantically. Alas, love is dead and the crops will lie fallow for this year’s harvest.
People.com says they simply fizzled out, but I have it on good authority that one or both of them had a total eclipse of the heart, and that even though once upon a time they were falling in love, now they’re only falling apart. There’s nothing they can do, it was a total eclipse of their hearts. It’s very sad when that happens, but hey, we’ve all been there, right?! Also, the authority I have this intel on is my own and a hunch, but that’s enough to go on, at least in my opinion.
Anyway, now that OrGar is dead (or RitAndrew if you’re Overlord Emily and like to come up with celeb couple names that could double for your butler’s name when you’re rich and fancy) I’m sure a few among you are wondering what does Emma Stone think about all of this? Emma, if you’ll remember, dated Andrew off-and-on again for years.
Friends, to be honest, I don’t really know. I asked both Siri and Alexa to call Emma Stone and they came back with nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. What’s the point of having a robot butler (without a fancy name) if they can’t connect you with Academy Award-winning Best Actresses to ask them if they care that their ex broke up with someone else?!?! Ugh. I guess we’ll have to save the invasion of privacy and lack of personal boundaries for another time.
So what’s the takeaway here? Basically, if you were planning to special order something for Andrew’s birthday in August and needed a lot of lead time to get it made, don’t order him something “his and hers,” with Rita’s name on the other part. I appreciate that you’re a planner, but in this case, it would be a bad idea.
Also, if someone runs into Emma Stone, ask her what she thinks about all this. I’m sure she’ll be totally fine answering intimate questions about her innermost feelings. Or not. You know what? Let’s go with not. The whole thing seems like a bad idea.
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