Onika Tanya Maraj, better known by her stage name Nicki Minaj, has an album coming out on Tuesday. She’s fun. She says blustery things that amuse me, like:
“I’m the queen of New York. I’m the king of New York. Let me tell you why. Platinum albums. Albums. Plural. Number one in five motherfucking countries, nigga. Don’t play with me. You better respect my motherfucking gangsta, bitch. When you got an album that goes number one in Japan, the U.K., Australia, America at the same motherfucking time then you can speak my motherfucking name.”
Sometimes, I wish I had that kind of confidence. “When you have a Paul Rudd or a George R.R. Martin post that goes viral not once, not twice, but three times ON THE INTERNET, or if your article comes up first on Google when you type in “Raising Twins,” then you can speak my motherfucking name!
NO. It’s Pah JIE ba. Not Pa-jee-ba. Goddamnit!”
Anyway, the name of the album is Anaconda. I assume that’s a sly nod to a lyric in Sir Mix A Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back,’ although if so, it makes no sense. This is what the cover looks like.
Here’s what someone posted on the Internet to get a rise out of Minaj.
Then, at some point, somewhere on the Internet, people began saying disparaging things about Minaj’s ass in relation to the asses of swimsuit models because that’s what people on the Internet do. Minaj, who — again — doesn’t lack in confidence, took to Instagram to rate which swimsuit models were acceptable. And as you can see, almost everyone passed, except for Chrissy Teigen (who I’m sure is broken up about it), while Adam Levine’s ex-girlfriend, Nina Agdal, transcends “acceptable” into Angelic.
And there you go, folks. Your daily update on what Nicki Minaj thinks of supermodels’ asses.