Look, it’s no secret that we here at Pajiba like our pop culture the way we like our world: DIVERSE. And yet, the increased focus on diversity has left one group in the cold: Middle-aged white guys. Oh, don’t get me wrong — they’re still all over the damn place, doing just fine for themselves. They’re named the “Sexiest Man Alive” despite PILES OF EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY. They still dominate most of the behind-the-scenes jobs in television, and command most of the speaking roles in film. But no one (who isn’t a crazypants racist Twitter troll) is speaking up on their behalf, not with a steady supply of Lin-Manuel Mirandas and John Chos and Idris Elbas and Cate Blanchetts and Janelle Monáes to fawn over. For the love of all that’s needlessly contrarian — WHO WILL THINK OF THE WHITE MEN?!
Well, fuck it. I’ll do it. Because I literally have nothing better to do today than list the middle-aged white guys who make me happy on the regular. So here are some pale men who make my heart go boom, or at least haven’t pissed me off, arbitrarily selected and arranged no particular order:
Dinosaurs. Pigs. Vineyards. Is there anything this man can’t do?
Missing my pig. Missing my beard too. pic.twitter.com/HUI8jN7wDv— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) May 4, 2018
Me- "So what you been up to ?— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) May 5, 2018
Kangaroo- "Oh, you know. Some physics, bit of brain surgery…stuff.
How about you ?'
Me- 'Aw…just hoppin about…you know…stuff'
Kangaroo -' Okay'. pic.twitter.com/EHQQo9fOhg
The guy is a damn treasure.
A funny man who uses his platform to focus our attention, deepen our understanding, and even motivate us to do something (like crash the FCC website). But mostly — dude’s got a koala chlamydia ward named after him, courtesy of Russell Crowe.
Marc Evan Jackson
As Dustin has already explained, Jackson is the host of the new The Good Place podcast — a show he also regularly pops up on. Or maybe you’d recognize him as Holt’s husband Kevin Cozner on Brooklyn Nine-Nine:
Maybe you know him as Sparks Nevada from the Thrilling Adventure Hour podcast. Or maybe you just know him as “Landsat Steve” from Kong: Skull Island:
Guys…let's not *all* go as LandSat Steve for Halloween, okay? pic.twitter.com/ex7nbs4Lwe— Marc Evan Jackson (@MarcEvanJackson) October 15, 2017
Point is, you probably do know him. Even if you don’t know you know him. And he’s wonderful.
He’s more than just Law & Order: SVU’s Elliot Stabler. I’ve made my feelings about his performance in SyFy’s Happy! clear in the past…
But even in the Wet Hot American Summer franchise — a franchise overstuffed with comedic talent — his turn as Gene never fails to steal the show.
I know I’ve been staunchly pro-Evans in the “Best Chris” debates, but for Meloni? I’d be willing to reconsider.
I’ve already explained that Tennant is giving me hope in television again. And look, there really isn’t much to add on this topic. The guy is a Doctor, a detective, a duck, a devil — and a goddamn delight. He even looks good in leather pants.
Ok, so he’s more, ah, upper middle-aged I suppose? But I’m giving it to him because he’s been giving me all the white dude feels for decades — especially when he’s putting his all into the most ridiculous of roles:
Earlier this year Pacino gave a fascinating interview with Vulture’s David Edelstein, which is probably why he’s on my mind. It was pegged to a 31-film career retrospective film series (one of the things Pacino requested was that the lineup include his two biggest bombs), and in the interview, Pacino talked about the roles that defined his career, his approach to acting, and his ups and downs. But after the interview he sent Edelstein a follow-up email, which is probably the most interesting part of the whole piece:
I just want to say in passing an interesting thought, acting is a very private affair. Actors talk about it and say do this and that, but when they are alone and within themselves they go where writers go, after a while that’s what’s so pleasant about it. It’s between you and you, and believe it or not, that’s when the creative moments come. Just as an aside, I think you will get what I’m talking about.
Alright, I hate to be you with that spiel I gave you in your head. Haha! Man I talked a mile, didn’t I? I’m going back to bed.
I bet you DID talk a mile a minute, Al.
And finally, I wanted to end with a little Middle-aged White Guy Face-Off. Haha, no, not that one:
What do you think? What middle-aged white guys do you still unabashedly love?