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Lori Loughlin & Felicity Huffman Got Arrested for a Breathtakingly Dumb College Scam

By Mike Redmond | Celebrity | March 12, 2019 |

By Mike Redmond | Celebrity | March 12, 2019 |


So you know how it’s pretty much a given that the rich and famous write a fat check to a college to get their stupid kids admitted? Well, what if those wealthy assholes were also not the brightest individuals, so instead, they dumped their money into a clearly fraudulent scheme that spectacularly blew up in their faces? I’m talking a scheme where all of the players read like a vapid Ocean’s 11 team who probably eat paste. Welcome to today’s college admissions scandal that NBC News just cracked open because our timeline wasn’t already sloppy enough with rich assholes cocking everything up. (See: United States, the whole entire)

In a nutshell, forty people, from parents to school officials, were charged in a plot to defraud the admissions process by either doctoring SAT scores — which landed actress Felicity Huffman in cuffs — using Photoshop to pretend potential students are athletes, and some other incredibly stupid shit that I’m sure is buried in the treasure trove of documents.

For example, this mother who expected her contact to forge the “handwriting” of her son, who she openly admits is an idiot:


Which brings us to Lori Loughlin’s daughter Olivia Jade, who knew about the plot, yet seemed entirely unconcerned that her parents allegedly dropped half a million dollars to scam her and her sister into college because she… *checks notes*… didn’t know how to fill out an application. Cool. Cool cool cool.

And the effort was clearly worth it:

Naturally, the Twitter takes have been hot:

Great stuff, but it needs an oblivious wang who thinks everyone doesn’t know how he got into college and spent the entire time literally pissing himself. Let me see what I got…

Eat the rich.