LeBron James and Vaginal Tattoos: 6 Life Lessons From Amy Schumer

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | March 22, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | March 22, 2015 |

Amy Schumer took over SXSW last week (presumably in preparation of taking over the world, which at this point seems inevitable), with a screening of her movie Trainwreck, a Q&A, and an in-depth interview interview. Between all of those, there were more than a few pearls of wisdom

1. If you’re against the word feminism, “you’re a crazy person.”
Schumer loves the word so much, she says she’s “going to get it tattooed on [her] clit,” and she doesn’t understand anyone who wouldn’t do the same.

I think people don’t know what the word ‘feminism’ means… It’s social and political equality for women. I think if you’re against that, you’re a crazy person. Or you don’t know what it means. And that we don’t actually have it is a bummer. It seems like we should be further along. That’s why it was so exciting to see Patricia Arquette shout that out about equal pay, cause it’s, like, insane that it’s still an issue. But there’s definitely a million issues. And I think there’s still that weird association with the word ‘feminist’ and I think people are afraid for some reason.

2. Embrace your inner Frankenstein
During her first Q&A, someone asked Schumer where she got her confidence and “badass attitude.” She credits that to a few things, but most important seems to be managing to get through her youth with a fantastic ignorance of how shitty the world can be.

I think I was just led astray as a kid… I didn’t lose my two front teeth till fifth grade. But I had my period, so I was just like this jack-o’-lantern with tits walking around. I just looked like Pinocchio when he was transitioning to a donkey. I just didn’t know anything was possibly wrong with me till I was 30. I feel super sentimental when I see, like, that girl Sophia Grace on Ellen’s show, just young girls that feel like everything’s okay, and for some reason I held onto that longer than most and I encourage that kind of, you know, being unapologetic and trusting that you’re allowed to be a human being.

3. Notice and appreciate who’s on your side.
Similar to Aziz Ansari’s recent perplexity over his own comments on feminism, Schumer found herself with some unexpected backlash over some jokes.

There was that #askhermore campaign about the Oscars and I tweeted ‘What about my campaign #askhimless?’ It was just a joke, not to belittle that campaign, and a girl wrote a whole article about how I was diminishing it, and I was like ‘Girl I’m on your side.’ That’s the kind of stuff that makes me upset.

4. Life sometimes sucks. Love usually sucks. Find a way to laugh through it.
Amy says she was falling in love when she wrote Trainwreck, but that the relationship was over by the second table read, mostly due to the fact that that dude turned out to be a sex addict. Rather than let the shittiness of love and breakups crush her spirit, she just embraced the realities of her life.

I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone’s mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded so I just have a more realistic take on it. So does Judd. We both have experienced a lot of pain and try our best to cope with it by making ourselves and other people laugh.

5. Fuck the haters.
When she was asked about the comments trollspawn critic Jeffrey Wells recently made about her appearance, she responded that she could not possibly give fewer fucks.

I did Last Comic Standing in 2007. I’ve been having people say the cruelest and the kindest things to me for what I feel like is a long time. So someone saying that I’m physically disgusting doesn’t change my heart rate or the course of my day at all. I truly from the bottom of my heart did not give a shit at all about that. It’s good that people were angry with him for saying that stuff about me, because that let people know ‘We’re okay with women that aren’t Victoria’s Secret models. We can fathom people could stomach fucking her.’

6. Cast LeBron James in everything.
Amy didn’t say this herself, but it’s definitely a life lesson I walked away believing in. If there ends up being more joyfully surprising performance in a movie this year than LeBron James in Trainwreck, I’ll be shocked. This would have been a great movie anyway, but James took the whole thing to another level— a level most of us probably didn’t know existed.