Here we go again—it’s being reported by People.com (so you know it’s Illuminati approved) that Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s whole will-they-won’t-they-does-anyone-other-than-them-care schtick was all an elaborate act.
This news, of course, came out when Lady Gaga told Oprah about it. Please don’t ask me to elaborate on that more, let’s just keep it as Oprah being the keeper of society’s truths because that’s how I picture Oprah in my mind. Did I mention I love Oprah, probably more than Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper pretended to love each other?
When Winfrey asked Gaga about her and Cooper’s intimate 2019 Oscars duet of “Shallow”, which instantly made headlines, Gaga candidly responded that she thinks “the press is very silly.”
“I mean, we made a love story. For me, as a performer and as an actress, of course we wanted people to believe that we were in love,” she explained.
OK, first off, just because I write every Pajiba article with a banana hat on my head and take frequent breaks to go smash a watermelon with a sledgehammer (I refuse to watch Gallagher specials anymore because he’s a s*itty guy but I don’t find watermelon smashing not funny, ya know? Gotta get my fix somehow!) doesn’t mean I’m silly. It just means I have a very rich personal life, OK?!
The article continues:
“And we wanted people to feel that love at the Oscars. We wanted it to go right through the lens of that camera and to every television that it was being watched on,” she said. “And we worked hard on it, we worked for days.”
While the duo’s performance sparked numerous rumors about a supposed relationship, Gaga revealed the two “mapped the whole thing out.”
“It was orchestrated as a performance,” she continued.
So. I guess this is designed to make us all drop hopes of a Gaga/Coop romance, and also, admire them for their artistic commitment?
I mean, I’m fine with that (the first part, at least. The second part not so much. I still remember Limitless, after all.) I never really believed that theirs was anything other than a publicity stunt in the first place. Bradley Cooper belongs to the mole people. We all know this.
What I really appreciate is that she is trying to portray this bad romance (see what I did there?) as a deeply researched thing, instead of two actors probably-maybe hooking up casually on the side (that’s what she meant by practicing for days, right?!) and then realizing that a perceived romance to the public might sell more movie tickets and help the film post-Oscars.
So, what’s the takeaway here?
That Gaga and Cooper think we were too stupid to know theirs was a blatant grab for attention?
No, I mean, duh. That was obvious from the get-go.
The real takeaway here is that Oprah can get basically anything out of you, so you better start putting your affairs in order and righting your wrongs, because when you finally meet her, you’re going to feel compelled to confess anyway.
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