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Jonah Hill Apologizes for Homophobic Slur, Unwisely Uses the 'Gay Friend' Defense

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | June 3, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | June 3, 2014 |

Jonah Hill lost his temper when a member of the paparazzo refused to stop harassing him, and Hill was caught on camera telling the paparazzo to “Suck my dick, you f*cking f**got.” And like any good celebrity with a publicist, he’s apologizing, even though I doubt I’d have ever even known about the incident if not for Hill publicly apologizing on Howard Stern and calling the word he used, “disgusting.”

“Just to give it some context, not excusing what I said in any way, this person had been following me around all day, had been saying hurtful things about my family, hurtful things about me, and I played into exactly what he wanted: I lost my cool. I’m not at all defending my words, but I’m happy to be the poster boy for thinking about what you say. … I shouldn’t have said that.”

Good. Fine. You’re forgiven. Few people probably think that Jonah Hill is homophobic, though he may be a dumbass for using a word that probably half of his movie characters have also used dozens of times. Whatever. Shut up and let’s move on …. oh wait a second.

“I’m upset because from the day I was born, and publicly, I’ve been a gay rights activist … I grew up with gay family members. I’m leaving here to go to spend the day with one of my closest co-workers and best friend, who is gay, who is getting married, and who I’m going to go stand at his wedding.”

Goddamnit, Jonah Hill. You just had to bring up the gay friend defense, didn’t you? Why, man? You couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you? Of course you have a gay friend. You’re under the age of 40 and you’re not a recluse. We all have gay friends, brother. And my guess is that “gay friend” is not nearly as mad at you for using a homophobic slur as he is about you using the “gay friend defense.” The “gay friend” is probably saying, “Dude. Leave me the f*ck out of this. I’m not the dumbass who called a paparazzo a homophobic slur. I don’t want anything to do with this. CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREPARING FOR A WEDDING?”

Always remember, celebrities: QWYA (Quit While You’re Ahead).

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.