Jennifer Lopez has Fiona Apple’s ‘Criminal’ in ‘Hustlers.’ What’s Your Stripper Song?
Friends, if you haven’t seen Hustlers yet, you should. You really, really should. If not for the great movie, superb acting (in particular Jennifer Lopez, who did not come to play and nails her role), or beautiful shots—you should see Hustlers for the excellent selection of stripper music.
(See Also: Hustlers: The Movie Characters vs. Their Real-Life Counterparts)
Now, strip clubs are not my go-to place to hang out on the regular, mainly because small bottles of water cost $12, and booze, my main source of weekend entertainment, is exponentially more expensive than the damn water. I’m also not a big fan of places that don’t have windows, and in my semi-limited experience with strip clubs, I’ve never been to one with windows (because windows in a strip club don’t make sense, duh!) I did, however, go to more than my fair share of them in a previous job because I worked in a male dominated field, and a lot of work, deals, and agreements got done at strip clubs during conferences, so I too would go to the club because friends, I will drink on my company’s dime anywhere they offer. Additionally, I would be damned if a junior male employee beneath me got a better project than me, all because he decided he wanted to watch naked ladies dance with his bro-bosses. Stitch that, man! So I would always go to the clubs whenever the men I was traveling with decided it was time. Friends, it was always time—and like the men in Hustlers, they would rack up 5-figure bills (the last one I remember before I quit was at least $12,000, in Vegas.)
So while strip clubs aren’t really a place I spent much time in now that I’m out of that job, I do have a deep admiration for the sheer athleticness these women have, and in particular, their core strength is something I aspire to basically every day of my life. I am also a big fan of stripper music—and as I’ve outlined above, I have some experience in this field.
The thing about stripper music is that it usually has a great beat, isn’t depressing , and is mildly in the top-40 because you want the music to be known, but not off-putting to the guests. Additionally, I don’t know what it is about him (OK, I do) but Prince was, and I’m sure still is, almost always played in the strip clubs I’ve been to, at least once a night.
The other thing I know is that everyone has a strip club song, and if you don’t, you’re missing out. Please use this article as a reason to decide which song you’d employ if you ever were to strip, or watch someone else strip to, even in the most hypothetical of all scenarios. This is a judgement free zone, people!
For instance, take this strip club anthem Wyclef Jean wrote, ostensibly to be played in the clubs, but really, is probably only ever played when Wyclef Jean is in a particular club.(I could be wrong here, like I said, I only went when work beckoned because $12 bottles of water, people!)
Now, I’m not a super big fan of strip club songs that take place literally in a strip club, or are about strippers. I’m more a fan of the songs that are spiritually about stripping and strip clubs, but less on the nose.
For instance, I prefer this Usher classic, which is not his most overt song about strip clubs (that would be “I Don’t Mind”) but I do feel that it’s his best strip club song. Hustlers, of course, included this one in the movie.
Truly the entire soundtrack was a love letter for the most part, to strip club music. (That said, I’ve never heard Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” played at one, but who’s to say it hasn’t?)
In Hustlers, Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” is Jennifer Lopez’s stripper song, and honestly? It’s an out of the box choice, but holy cats, like everything else in this movie it works, man.
(There’s not a clip of her dancing to that song, yet, on YouTube, so you’ll have to make do with the gif/YouTube combo, here, friends. I’m sorry, we gotta work with what we’ve got, here.)
Another banger strip club song, that Hustlers makes known?
(Honestly, all of her album “Blackout” works in the club, speaking from my experience.)
Again, I am by no means an expert here, I am just a fan of this niche genre.
If you’re wondering what my favorite strip club song? I mean, it’s a no brainer:
Header Image Source: STX/YouTube