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Jeffrey Epstein Found Unconscious In His Prison Cell; Twitter Fingers Bill Clinton

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | July 25, 2019 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | July 25, 2019 |


Serial rapist Jeffrey Epstein was found in his prison cell yesterday in the fetal position, semi-conscious, and with marks around his neck. Details are sketchy, but investigators are trying to discern whether Jeffrey Epstein attempted to kill himself, or if he was assaulted by another inmate. He is currently on suicide watch.

Sources, so far, offer conflicting accounts. Some suggest he may have tried to take his own life, while another suggests that the injury was not serious and that Epstein may have intentionally harmed himself in an effort to be transferred to another prison cell. Assault, however, has also not been ruled out. A former police officer arrested in 2016 and accused of killing four men in an alleged cocaine distribution conspiracy, then burying their bodies in his yard has been questioned, although he denies any involvement. A source, however, says that both Epstein and the former police officer have been complaining about the poor conditions inside the prison, including the bad food, the rodent problems, and apparent flooding.

According to a number of sources I found on Twitter, Epstein is completely miserable, and given the crimes for which he is accused, that is what’s most important.

In reality, right-wing conspiracy Twitter is actually abuzz right now because they all think that Bill Clinton put a hit out on Epstein. The hashtag #ClintonBodyCount is currently trending, which is insane, because it ignores the other possibility that Donald Trump put out the hit. Or Alan Dershowitz. Or any number of powerful older, white men.

I would typically express disgust with Twitter making light of a potential prison murder, but it’s Epstein. I don’t really care. Mostly, I want him to live out the rest of his days eating bad food and dodging rats, and he needs to stay alive if only so that he can out his numerous accomplices in exchange for just one ham sandwich that prison cooks didn’t spit in.

Source: NBC

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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