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James Franco Wrote a Really Dumb Essay About the Value of McDonalds for 'The Washington Post'

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | May 7, 2015 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | May 7, 2015 |

I have no idea why James Franco would write an essay for The Washington Post extolling the minimal virtues of McDonalds (it offered him a job when he couldn’t otherwise find one! and their fries are really tasty!), and I have no idea why The Washington Post would publish it. I also don’t know why I read the entire piece, nor do I understand why any of you are here reading about me telling you about James Franco’s dumb essay for The Washington Post, but here we all are. Reading about James Franco’s dumb essay.

And what was it that Franco had to say? Well, he’s worried about McDonalds. People have become more health conscious, and they’ve stopped eating at McDs, and the new hipster Hamburgler is apparently not helping:


Franco feels real bad about McDonald’s troubles, see, because when he needed a job, they were there for him! For three months when Franco was 18 years old and otherwise unemployed, he got to work there for minimum wage, practice his accents at the drive-thru, and steal their fries, straight from the fry hopper.

I hate to whistleblow, but everyone ate straight from the fry hopper. You’d walk by and snag a fry and pop it in your mouth. So easy. I also put tons of salt on the fries because that’s how I like them. I don’t know if the customers ever complained.

Good story, Franco!

Franco also got hit on by the fry cook, who wanted to hook up with him in the bathroom, but the fry cook didn’t speak English, so they needed a translator.

Thanks for sharing, Franco!

And what is the point of this story, James?

When I was hungry for work, they fed the need. I still love the simplicity of the McDonald’s hamburger and its salty fries. After reading “Fast Food Nation,” it’s hard for me to trust the grade of the meat. But maybe once a year, while on a road trip or out in the middle of nowhere for a movie, I’ll stop by a McDonald’s and get a simple cheeseburger: light, and airy, and satisfying.

Good for you, James! And he’s so right! We should be thankful that McDonald’s provides minimum-wage job opportunities to struggling actors while they’re waiting for their big break, but not that thankful because the meat is probably not very good.

So, the point is? That we shouldn’t eat at McDonalds, but McDonalds should continue to thrive so that it can provide menial job opportunities?


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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.