Somewhere between burning women at the stake for being able to swim and now, the powers that be decided that Satan is sexy.
I would love to be able to pinpoint an exact date, like 2:45 pm Jun 14th, 1956 in the township of Birdsall, New York when teenager Nancy Smallberries got home from 8th grade and, finding nothing to do, let her mind wander. After being told earlier that morning by her very strict aunt, who lived with her and her family, that Elvis’ music was “the devil’s music” Nancy decided that afternoon that if it was the devil’s music, then dammit, the devil must be sexy, and thus a trope was born.
I mean, it could be true. Only the ancient vampires who dwell amongst us, and who have a penchant for monitoring human attitudes towards the fallen Divine would know, and friends, the only creatures I know like that are more or less really in to The Great British Bake Off and that’s about it.
Anyway, this all begs the question that I am posing to you now: who is the sexiest Satan of all time?
My money’s on Tom Ellis in Lucifer because not only can that man rock a suit, he can also say his lines with a straight face on this gloriously campy show, which gets you very far in my book.
Then there’s Gabriel Byrne, at his peak ’90s hotness, in End of Days but that movie was gross and sucked, and a total waste of Kevin Pollak, the best of all Hollywood Kevins.
Naturally if you like your devil to be a lady, there’s Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled:
I mean, there’s a lot of options to choose from, so I really hope you don’t go with Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick because I don’t really rate that movie very highly either (I mean, it’s no Mermaids….)
I don’t know, for my money I think Ellis is top notch—he hits the right notes of camp and seduction for me, and again, the man can really rock a suit, so if I hear no strenuous objections, I’m just gonna call this now: Tom Ellis is the sexiest Satan of all time.
Header Image Source: YouTube/Netflix