Please understand that I’m putting myself at risk for reporting on this topic, but the people need to know the truth, and that includes the people at People who are undoubtedly complicit in covering this topic up. Friends, regardless of what Us Weekly (and People. Have I mentioned People enough, yet?) want you to think, ‘Stars are Just Like Us’ only if you too are an immortal being who just happens to be a movie star.
Writer (and honorary member of the club I founded just now, Dames Understanding Many Blood-suckers) Jenny Han rocked my world yesterday when she posted this.
Did I ever tell you guys about the time I discovered Rachel Weisz is a vamp? as in vampire pic.twitter.com/iGqcjEhyfC— Jenny Han (@jennyhan) January 7, 2019
FYI this is a picture of "Lily Elsie" born 1886. NOT "Rachel Weisz." Wink, wink!— Jenny Han (@jennyhan) January 7, 2019
Rarely is the truth so plainly put out there for all of us to see. We can tell by Han’s tweet that Weisz has been with us since at least 1886. The Favourite takes place in the year 1708. If we can accept that Rachel Weisz is a vampire, then can we not accept that perhaps she’s been around since the times of Queen Anne. If we can accept that, then it’s not too big of a leap in logic to say that she was there to witness first-hand what happened at the court. Maybe Rachel Weisz was so good in The Favourite because she was there.
It’s the only logical conclusion here, people!
There are going to be some among you that discount the very mission of DUMB—you’re sitting there, rolling your eyes, smug in your resolute knowledge that vampires aren’t real. You insist that Lost Boys wasn’t a documentary, that True Blood had no basis in historical record, and that Twilight could never possibly happen. How so very wrong you are, but people like you cannot be swayed to accept things that don’t fit into your scientific and so-called logical world view.
There are others of you out there that are thinking to yourself, “ok, maybe vampires”, but also, “there are only so many ways for a human face to look, surely over the course of human history some people will look uncannily like each other?”
To you I say balderdash! When you come face to face with a vampire who acts, will you question this so readily when in 30 years your face has changed and yet Rachel Weisz’s remains the same?
Finally, a small but steadfast group of you are nodding your head in silent agreement and adding Rachel Weisz to the list of celebrities who are also paranormal beings. You are my people, and will be invited to the DUMB conference once we have enough money to scrape together to put a deposit on the cheapest hotel with a conference room, by the airport, because we want to make things easy on you. Stay tuned for more details.
So what did we learn other than that Rachel Weisz, may not have been acting, but reenacting, in The Favourite if you catch my drift.
Nothing. We learned absolutely nothing else of importance. Happy Monday!
Header Image Source: Getty