Illegitimate Theatre News: Lindsay Lohan Really Was Cast In That Play, While Shia LaBeouf Got Kicked Out of One

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | June 26, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | June 26, 2014 |

It was announced a few days ago that Lindsay Lohan would be performing in a production of Speed-the-Plow in London’s West End but no one really believed her because, well, I really don’t know where to start on the list of reasons why that’s hard to believe. The West End is like Broadway but way classier, a level of prestige not currently associated with Lohan. And doing a play is hard work, and you actually have to commit to being on someone else’s schedule. If Oprah is to be believed, these are not the woman’s strongest suits.

But Broadway World has confirmed her role in the production. The show will run September 24 through November 30, and Lindsay will play Karen, the role originated by Madonna in 1988. Good luck to anyone who buys tickets for this, because I’d guess there’s an 80% chance (feeling generous) that you’ll wind up seeing an understudy. Who will probably be fantastic.

In other theatre news, Shia Labeouf continues his run as an insufferable waste of space by getting arrested during a performance of Cabaret on Broadway. He was apparently smoking in the theater and being “disruptive” during the first act, and was led away by police during intermission. Tony-nominated composer Benj Pasek tweeted:

Just saw Shia LaBeouf in handcuffs in tears surrounded by 6 police officers outside of CABARET the musical. Oh New York, u is a crazy bitch

— Benj Pasek (@benjpasek) June 27, 2014

There are mumblings of this possibly being another “performance piece” like his bag head nonsense. Hey Shia LaBeouf, you know who doesn’t give a crap about your performance art? Every single person who paid over $100 for their ticket to see Alan Cumming and Michelle Williams in Cabaret.