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If You're Going to Be an Asshole, That's Fine, I Respect Your Choice, But Don't Do It In Front of Me: Dancing With the Stars Cast Backlash Makes Me Tired and Sad

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | September 1, 2011 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | September 1, 2011 |

You know, people spend a lot of time thinking about other people’s genitals.

That’s all I can think of whenever I hear yet another closed-minded individual deriding the “lifestyle choices” of their fellow human beings. Because that’s really what’s happening here. When people are against homosexuality, you know all they’re thinking of is anal sex. When they disparage Chaz Bono, all they’re thinking of is a penis or a vagina or some imaginary nether kraken.

Sometimes, surrounding myself with the people I do, I forget how weird people get about sexuality stuff. When I hear homophobic comments, I’m always surprised, even though I know cultural understanding still has a long way to go.

So imagine my naively shocked disappointment when I saw this article on THR about people freaking their shit out about Chaz Bono and Carson Kressly joining this season of “Dancing With the Stars.”

Many of the 1,000+ comments about the casting accuse ABC of pushing a homosexual agenda with contestants such as the transgender Bono. Bellcindy wrote, “I do not hate Chaz as a person. I just resent the media shoving so much of anyone’s personal life choices down our throats. I guess due to ABC’s choices, I will kiss this show good-bye too. I wish Chaz well, just as I would anyone else who makes lifestyle decisions that I disagree with (whatever they may be).”

Kmto61056 said, “This show has completely lost a viewer(s). I am DISGUSTED that you would have Chaz Bono on there. He/she can live however he/she would like to live, but do we need to flaunt it for ratings? Really? I hope your ratings sink as low as you have sunk in having Chaz on there.”

…RACAsper said, “I fully respect ABC’s Freedom of Speech. They are free to choose whomever they want for whatever reasons they want. I am also free to turn off the show. I am free to state that I am tired of their never ending assault on moral values. I am tired of hastily flipping the channel when ABC and the other networks show a ferociously violent, sexually charged, or deviant clip from their latest show. They keep pushing the envelope and now they’ve gone too far in my book.”


In fairness to these ignorant suburban hill people, in the past, this bastion of moral fiber has typically only cast the most saintly, Bible belt-friendly folk, like Kim Kardashian and The Situation. So, how are these goodly people supposed to handle this kind of deviancy? Being happy with yourself and the person you spend your life with is gross, but getting pissed on and nailing half-passed out drunk chicks by the truckload? God’s work. Also, I won’t even bother with the whole “he’s a guy now, so technically he’s in a hetero relationship” because that’s not the point, plus they don’t understand words and stuff.

Chaz’s mama, the patron saint of fanciness, took to her Twitter to slam Chaz’s haters:

lovelies! Chaz is Being Viciously Attacked on Blogs & Message boards about being on DWTS!This is Still America right ? It took guts 2 do it … I support him no matter what he chooses 2do! God! will there always be haters! It took COURAGE 2 do dwts ! TG Chaz has an Unlimited supply … Can u guys check out sites & give him your support ? BTW …Mothers don’t stop Getting angry with stupid bigots who fk with their children !

What she really means is, “Snap out of it!”


Look, I don’t have anything against xenophobic hate-mongering dickspackles. I just really resent them shoving their beliefs down my throat. Just do it in the privacy of your own home, okay? Don’t flaunt your xenophobic hate-mongering dickspackle agenda at me. I mean, some people have kids, you know?