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If You Think About It, Kurt Metzger Is Pretty Stupid Too

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | August 18, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | August 18, 2016 |

What was that famous Nietzsche line about staring into the abyss? Ah yes, I think it was “He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into the incoherent, online ramblings of a comedy manchild, the incoherent, online ramblings of a comedy manchild will also gaze into thee.” Which is all to say, I’ve got a big fucking problem with Kurt Metzger’s tweets from the past few days.

I mean, all of them in general are garbage fires and prove that Metzger’s got some attitudes and views that should disqualify him from writing for an overtly feminist show. But I have a big problem with one Facebook post in particular.


And that problem is that his logic is shockingly stupid. Let’s break this down line by line.

We are gonna get into it on Race Wars.

That part I don’t care about.

But if anyone has anything like a detail or anything to go on of any kind with this Aaron Glaser thing I’m interested to hear.

If this isn’t a direct admission, it’s a strong implication that Metzger doesn’t have any inside or additional information on this case.

So far based on what I’ve learned he has a potential sweet lawsuit. I hope he fucking destroys UCB for this.

Well, I’m glad Kurt has that whole career as an employment lawyer to fall back on in case this comedy thing doesn’t work out. And that’s assuming that Glaser was A) an employee of UCB, and B) can prove he was wrongfully terminated. But no one has ever had a “sweet lawsuit” because they weren’t literally given a platform to espouse their ideas.

With no details/proof/a story about what happened of any kind, a bunch of people feel comfortable declaring guilt and going out of their way to destroy someone.

You literally three sentences ago said that you have no way of knowing that this statement is true. There are no details/proof/story TO WHICH YOU ARE PRIVY. UCB, a private organization, conducted an internal investigation, and opted to end their professional relationship with a comic. No one has to tell you shit.

You are not even a little on the side of right if you helped with that. And if he is guilty his only punishment is not hosting a monthly show at UCB.

Which one is it, guy? Did a bunch of people feel comfortable destroying someone without any evidence or is the only punishment losing a once-a-month hosting gig? Because you absolutely don’t get to have it both ways.

If you think this is justice, know that I consider you a fucking moron and I’m happy to have you turn on me.

Literally not a single person has said that this is justice. Nor does Glaser being banned from UCB mean that other avenues for achieving justice haven’t been taken. Given that Metzger started this rant by acknowledging that he didn’t have any information on this case, how does he know that these women haven’t gone to the police?

What you are advocating is WORSE for society than actual rape. That is a fact.

Glad you cleared that up, Definitive Source On The Rankings Of Society’s Ills. And while we’re at it, care to explain what it is that you believe people are advocating for? Do you believe we’re saying instead of being prosecuted by law enforcement for rape, men should have their comedy shows taken away? Because again, literally no one is saying that.

Oooooo I bet it pisses a couple of imbeciles off when I say that. But Im right and that’s why we have a constitution and laws. Please turn on me for this post. I beg you.

This is all garbage.

In short, what we have, despite his claims to the contrary, is not a man attempting to defend due process nor a common sense advocate for working with the criminal justice system in order to deal with sexual assault. We’ve got an asshole who doesn’t know shit getting pissed off because he feels the actions of people who have nothing to do with him weren’t justified to his satisfaction. No one, but specifically neither UCB nor the women who came forward with rape allegations, owe you an explanation, Kurt. Fuck off.