The problem with Jennifer Lawrence is that she’s totally unrelatable, no one likes her and she’s disgusting. Don’t worry—Canada’s Flare Magazine is here to help.

I mean, straightening a wrinkled skirt? Totally. Darkening that fug belt? Whatevs. But…they moved her hairline. They gave her the cheekbones of Jocelyn Wildenstein. They lowered her collarbones. They slimmed down her fucking hand. What the shit, Canada? You’re supposed to be nice.

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