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Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Her Ridiculously Lavish Christmas List Will 'Make Father Christmas Proud'

By Cindy Davis | Celebrity | November 14, 2014 |

By Cindy Davis | Celebrity | November 14, 2014 |

I can’t say I despise Gwyneth Paltrow, though I have found her transformation from young daughter of acting royalty to Her Goopness rather off-putting. Where she used to come off humble and gracious, now Paltrow seems impossibly out of touch. Take, for instance, her Christmas list…full of things like a $550.00 travel backgammon set. I mean, you can find a magnetic set (I think I actually have one) for about $5.00 and be able to play just fine. And yes, there are a fair amount of “under $100.00 items” on the list, because one just never knows when you’ll feel like slumming it. But in case you win the lottery, here are a few of Goop’s more luxurious suggestions:

1. Valentino Suitcase, $4,545.00


For those times when a girl has to run straight from the airport to the woods, and hide from the paparazzi.

2. Hermes and Chanel Watches, $4,300.00 and Price upon Request


Because one is never enough, and something has to match the juicer…

3. Gold Juicer, $4,739.00


Because silver is so…pedestrian.

4. Miu Miu Metal-toe Leather Skate Shoe, $490.00


A bargain! For those days when you’re feeling “punk.”

5. Personalized Slippers, $450.00



6. Hermes Mythes et Constellations, $125.00


Because only a peasant would play unlabeled cards.

7. For the 12-14-ers: Golden Goose Sneakers, $575.00


Develop a taste for the finer things while they’re young.

8. BFF Necklace, $550.00


“We asked Lily, one of our favorite 14-year-olds, for the thing she’d die to own…” (“Out of every tween’s budget.”)

9. For the 0-3-ers: Gruder Truck, $103.99 — On Sale for $80.39


“Toddler crack.”

10. House of Cards, Season 1, $17.99


To can catch up with the regular folk, *and* learn how to sneer at them behind their backs just like Kevin Spacey.

11. Champagne Bucket, $370.00


You don’t want to have to get up from the couch, do you?

Cindy Davis, (Twitter) wishes GP wouldn’t make it quite so easy…