I am a good person with a good heart (“That’s a funny joke.” — you) and I hate when bad things happen to good people.
Yet, I love when bad things happen to Gwyneth Paltrow. Because it’s never not hilarious and amazing.
There’s an app called Whisper. I’d never before heard of an app called Whisper, but it seems to be similar to PostSecret. And now that I know someone’s posting Goop gossip (goopsip) I am downloading it LIT’RALLY as we speak. Because I love. I live. I live for this.
Because Gwyneth, for someone who has created herself as this picture of class, the essence of having it all, handles scandal TERRIBLY. And the chaos is beautiful. I want to live inside the swirling vortex of her insanity and build a beach house where I will bathe in the sunbeams of her tantrums forever.
So, basically, someone posted on Whisper that Goop is having an affair with Kevin Yorm, an entertainment lawyer. It would appear this—or a similar story—was the basis for the infamously aborted Vanity Fair exposé (for the record, he cheats on her too, so you go girl and get yourself Gooped, Goopy). Defamer interviewed the editor-in-chief of Whisper, a former Gawker editor, who confirmed that the source is sound. Defamer then contacted Goop’s publicist and hilarity ensued.
So Goop herself is not only having a rumored secret affair with an entertainment lawyer—that affair is why Vanity Fair dropped the story? We emailed her publicist, Stephen Huvane, for comment. He wrote back (all sic):
That is absolutely 100 percent false. The sours at Whisper is clearly a fake
Three minutes later, he emailed us again:
What exactly is Whisper anyway?
We attempted to explain the app, to which he responded:
This is clearly a fabricated story with no credibility at all.
Ten minutes later, he followed up for the fourth time:
The only time Gwyneth has even recently seen Kevin Yorn (who she knows only casually through business contacts) was on a flight from NY-LA. Gwyneth was flying with her assistant and the CEO of Goop and Kevin coincidentally was also in the first class section. I cannot be more clear with you when I say she is NOT having an affair with Kevin Yorn and I will be notifying her attorneys as well.
We will be following this sure-to-be-AMAHZING story as it progresses. I hope there’s face slaps and shoulder pads! *tight-fisted shiver of joy*