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Gritty Addresses A Worried Nation

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | March 18, 2020 |

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | March 18, 2020 |


In times of trouble, humanity looks to creature comforts to ease our anxiety. Now, a creature has stepped forward to comfort us in the age of coronavirus and be the “orange light of hope” that’ll guide us through this dark time. Of course, I’m talking about Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers’ mascot/Internet Boyfriend known for his unapologetic optimism and keen insights into the political climate.

Yesterday, Gritty took to Twitter to address a worried nation. He assured us he is well, but responsibly taking social distancing seriously. He shared how he’s attempting to stave off boredom and has solved the mystery of why people are hoarding toilet paper.

Here is Gritty’s full statement:

“Dear Gritizens,

We have no hockey. But we have each other. Now is when I would typically embrace you with my fur, but instead I will envelope you with my words (social distancing.)

How are you? I hope everyone is staying safe…but enough about you, let’s talk about me.

I know a lot of you have been asking if I’m okay and wondering what I’ve been up to. The most adorable creatures seem to be immune (dogs, small children, and possibly ME?) Regardless, I’m taking this very seriously. My paws are v clean. My home is completely wrapped in toilet paper, the virus isn’t getting in.

I’m health in its purest form. My body temp is at the classic Gritty average of -55.6 degrees Celcius, I’ve never felt slimmer, but I can’t seem to the shake this swimmer’s ear (ongoing issue). You know what they say, when the virus goes low, we go high.

Well, the DVD box at the toilet paper store was out of options, so I am now on my ninth watch of Osmosis Jones (2011 — Fantasy/Action). I also started watching LOST. I couldn’t find Seasons 1 or 2, so I started on Season 3 and can’t help but feel like I’m missed something important.

I’m lonely. I’m sure you are too. We can be lonely together. Maybe being together in loneliness will make us…not lonely? I recognize there’s a lot going on, and I rightfully assume my duty to be the orange light of hope in this COVID-19 covered world. After all, laughter is the best medicine. Next to medicine.

Peace. Love. Sanitizer. Waves.

Gritty then wished all a Happy St. Patrick’s Day with this festive follow-up tweet.

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Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.

Header Image Source: Getty