George R. R. Martin Is Understandably Flummoxed by Playboy's 'Sexy George R. R. Martin' Halloween Costume

By Cindy Davis | Celebrity | November 3, 2014 |

By Cindy Davis | Celebrity | November 3, 2014 |

I know this Halloween hangover is no way to start your Monday morning, but I just can’t let this pass. You know all those “sexy” costumes you’ve seen in Target or Party City? They may have caused you an uncontainable snicker or an eyebrow twitch; heck, there was even a “Sexy Ebola Containment Suit” this year. But that might not be 2014’s strangest dress-up theme, because on Halloween, Playboy put up a “Sexy George R. R. Martin” photo series. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of people who find bearded, 66-year-old writers sexy. But this little twist — well, I’ve gotta ask — is Ryan Murphy onto something?

(photos via Playboy)

This being the internet age and all, word of his sexualized costumification reached the author himself, and at first GRRM just seemed puzzled.

“My life just keeps getting more and more surreal.

I thought it was pretty odd last year, when the GAME OF THRONES - inspired Halloween costumes offered for sale on the internet included not only Jon Snow, Dany, Melisandre, and other characters from the show, but also one based on me. Whoever heard of dressing up as a writer for trick or treating? I’ve never seen a Stephen King costume, a Scott Fitzgerald costume, a Herman Melville costume. But there it was, a George R.R. Martin. “It can’t get any weirder than this,” I thought.

Hoo boy, was I wrong about that.”

Yeah, it’s pretty weird, and that’s an understandable reaction to hearing you’ve been turned into a sexy Halloween costume. You know what’s *slightly outside* the expected reaction to hearing you’re a Halloween costume? BEING TURNED ON BY YOUR OWN SEXY HALLOWEEN COSTUME. That’s right, your friend and mine, writer and procrastinator extraordinaire, George R. R. Martin is kinda sorta turned on by his own countenance as worn by a not-even-scantily-clad-woman.

“I can’t say that I’ve ever had a thing for bearded women, but I have to confess, Sexy George R.R. Martin is… er… sexy. But there is something deeply disturbing about being turned on by yourself. Stranger than incest. Or even twincest.”

Uh…well, I uh…people are turned on by all kinds of things and as long as it’s legal and consenting and all that…good on you? I just have to go gargle some more coffee or something now.

(For more “sexy” costumes, including Louis CK, John Oliver and Joe Biden, go here.)

Cindy Davis, (Twitter)